more relay hosting tweaks (#695)
This has some low-impact doc and scripts changes, and a couple
actually-impactful changes to Relay code:
- I think fixes a bug/type with per-PDS, per-second event rate limits
- wires through some concurrency and limit values as env vars; should
not impact the default behaviors
- updates PDS resync numbers (in database and results from API) much
more frequently, but doesn't log for all those updates. only impacts
actual PDS resync processes