Mae's website :3
maemoon.me
personal
website
svelte
sveltekit
the end of everything
authored by
cute-catgirl
and committed by
GitHub
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src/posts/end.md
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src/posts/end.md
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---
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title: "end"
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date: "2024-08-13"
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---
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Someday I'm going to die.
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Maybe it will be in 80 years, maybe it will be tomorrow. I don't know.
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And that uncertainty is *scary*. Because I like living! I have so many things I want to do!
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I don't know how much I'm going to be able to get done in my life. How many of my dreams will never be fulfilled.
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And sure, I can "take life one day at a time" or "focus on the things that really matter" or whatever proverbial oversimplification you want to repeat.
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But of course, nothing can truly be summarized in a few words.
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I don't *know* exactly what's most important to me.
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I don't *know* how to accomplish the things that are.
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I don't *know* if I have enough time left.
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I don't *know* if I'll even still be interested 2 months later (screw you ADHD)
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Ironically, these uncertainties act as roadblocks as well. Not knowing is scary and it makes it harder to actually get things accomplished.
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If I didn't spend so much time worrying about how much time I have, I would have more time.
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It's irrational and illogical and stupid.
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But hey, I'm human. Humans can be irrational and illogical and stupid.