this repo has no description
Merge pull request #12 from rsanheim/roast-site
ROAST
authored by
Stephen Yeargin
and committed by
GitHub
91f3000e
8b0d7873
+665
+665
docs/index.html
+665
docs/index.html
···
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<!DOCTYPE html>
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<html lang="en">
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<head>
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<meta charset="UTF-8">
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<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0">
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<title>Tumble Roast</title>
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<style>
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* {
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margin: 0;
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padding: 0;
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box-sizing: border-box;
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}
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body {
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font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif;
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background: #1a1a1a;
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background-image:
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radial-gradient(circle at 20% 50%, rgba(255, 107, 53, 0.03) 0%, transparent 50%),
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radial-gradient(circle at 80% 50%, rgba(247, 147, 30, 0.03) 0%, transparent 50%);
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color: #e0e0e0;
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line-height: 1.8;
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min-height: 100vh;
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}
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.container {
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max-width: 780px;
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margin: 0 auto;
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padding: 50px 25px;
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background: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.3);
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border-left: 1px solid #333;
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border-right: 1px solid #333;
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box-shadow: 0 0 60px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.5);
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}
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h1 {
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font-family: 'Georgia', 'Times New Roman', serif;
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font-size: 2.8em;
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text-align: center;
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margin-bottom: 15px;
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color: #ff6b35;
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text-shadow: 2px 2px 4px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.5), 0 0 30px rgba(255, 107, 53, 0.3);
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letter-spacing: -1px;
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}
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.subtitle {
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text-align: center;
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color: #999;
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font-style: italic;
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margin-bottom: 50px;
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font-size: 1.05em;
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border-bottom: 1px dashed #444;
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padding-bottom: 30px;
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}
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.era-header {
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background: linear-gradient(180deg, #ff6b35 0%, #cc4a1a 100%);
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color: #fff;
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padding: 14px 24px;
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border-radius: 6px;
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font-weight: bold;
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font-size: 1.2em;
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margin: 60px 0 30px 0;
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text-align: center;
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text-shadow: 1px 1px 2px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.4);
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box-shadow: 0 4px 8px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.3), inset 0 1px 0 rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.2);
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border: 1px solid #aa3a10;
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}
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.roast-item {
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background: linear-gradient(180deg, rgba(40, 40, 40, 0.8) 0%, rgba(30, 30, 30, 0.9) 100%);
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border: 1px solid #444;
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border-left: 5px solid #ff6b35;
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padding: 25px 30px;
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margin: 25px 0;
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border-radius: 8px;
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box-shadow: 0 3px 10px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.3);
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}
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.roast-item h2 {
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font-family: 'Georgia', serif;
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color: #f7931e;
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font-size: 1.35em;
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margin-bottom: 12px;
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}
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.roast-item h2 a {
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color: #f7931e;
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text-decoration: underline;
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}
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.roast-item h2 a:hover {
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color: #ffb347;
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}
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.roast-item p {
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margin-bottom: 14px;
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}
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.commit-ref {
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font-family: monospace;
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font-size: 0.85em;
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color: #79c0ff;
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background: #0d1117;
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padding: 2px 6px;
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border-radius: 3px;
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}
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.commit-ref a {
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color: #79c0ff;
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text-decoration: none;
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}
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.commit-ref a:hover {
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text-decoration: underline;
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}
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.file-ref {
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font-family: monospace;
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font-size: 0.85em;
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color: #7ee787;
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}
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.file-ref a {
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color: #7ee787;
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text-decoration: none;
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}
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.file-ref a:hover {
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pre {
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background: linear-gradient(180deg, #0a0a0a 0%, #151515 100%);
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border: 1px solid #333;
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border-radius: 5px;
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padding: 15px 18px;
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overflow-x: auto;
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font-family: 'Consolas', 'Monaco', 'Courier New', monospace;
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font-size: 0.88em;
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margin: 15px 0;
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box-shadow: inset 0 2px 5px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.4);
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}
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code {
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color: #8cb4ff;
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}
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.burn {
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color: #ff6b35;
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font-weight: bold;
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text-shadow: 0 0 8px rgba(255, 107, 53, 0.4);
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}
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.epic-quote {
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font-family: 'Georgia', serif;
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font-style: italic;
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text-align: center;
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padding: 40px 30px;
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color: #888;
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background: linear-gradient(180deg, rgba(30, 30, 30, 0.5) 0%, rgba(20, 20, 20, 0.6) 100%);
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border: 1px solid #333;
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border-radius: 8px;
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margin-top: 60px;
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font-size: 1.05em;
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line-height: 2;
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box-shadow: inset 0 2px 10px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.3);
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}
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.hall-of-fame {
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margin-top: 60px;
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padding-top: 40px;
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border-top: 2px dashed #444;
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}
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.hall-of-fame h2 {
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font-family: 'Georgia', serif;
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color: #f7931e;
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text-align: center;
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margin-bottom: 25px;
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font-size: 1.5em;
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text-shadow: 1px 1px 3px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.5);
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}
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.commit {
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background: linear-gradient(180deg, rgba(50, 40, 30, 0.6) 0%, rgba(40, 30, 20, 0.7) 100%);
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border: 1px solid #554433;
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padding: 15px 20px;
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margin: 15px 0;
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border-radius: 5px;
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font-family: monospace;
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box-shadow: 0 2px 6px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.2);
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}
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.commit-hash {
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color: #79c0ff;
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}
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.commit-hash a {
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color: #79c0ff;
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text-decoration: none;
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}
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.commit-hash a:hover {
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text-decoration: underline;
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}
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.commit-msg {
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color: #e8e8e8;
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}
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.commit-note {
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margin-top: 8px;
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color: #888;
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font-size: 0.9em;
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font-family: Georgia, serif;
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}
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footer {
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text-align: center;
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margin-top: 60px;
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padding: 30px 20px;
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color: #666;
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font-size: 0.9em;
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border-top: 1px dashed #333;
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}
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footer a {
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color: #ff6b35;
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text-decoration: underline;
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}
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footer a:hover {
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color: #ffb347;
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}
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.timeline {
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color: #888;
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font-size: 0.9em;
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margin-bottom: 10px;
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}
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</style>
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</head>
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<body>
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<div class="container">
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<h1>Tumble Roast</h1>
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<p class="subtitle">A 2004-era tumbleblog that somehow predates Tumblr and outlived it too.<br>15 years of
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commits. 15 years of mass casualties.<br><strong style="color: #ff6b35;">Every link is real. We couldn't
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make this up.</strong></p>
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<!-- 2021 ERA -->
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<div class="era-header">💀 The 2021 Era: Security Is Optional 💀</div>
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<p style="text-align: center; color: #888; margin-bottom: 30px;">After <span class="burn">4 years of mass
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silence</span> (2016-2020), someone finally shows up... to actively make things worse.</p>
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+
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<div class="roast-item">
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<h2><a href="https://github.com/websages/tumble/commit/83e9bfc">"TLS is a nice-to-have"</a></h2>
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<p class="timeline">December 7, 2021</p>
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<pre><code>commit 83e9bfc
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Disable SSL verification for tumble links
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TLS is a nice-to-have.</code></pre>
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<pre><code>ssl_opts => { verify_hostname => 0 }</code></pre>
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<p>The commit message that launched a thousand security audits. <span class="burn">TLS is a
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nice-to-have.</span> Just like seatbelts. Or parachutes. Or not shitting where you eat.</p>
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<p>Bonus: The branch was named <code>disable-verify-hostanme</code>. They typo'd "hostname" in the branch
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name, and it's <a href="https://github.com/websages/tumble/commit/8b0d787">immortalized in the merge
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commit</a>.</p>
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</div>
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<div class="roast-item">
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<h2><a href="https://github.com/websages/tumble/commit/52dc190">The User Agent Time Capsule</a></h2>
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<p class="timeline">January 24, 2021</p>
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<pre><code>- $agent->agent( 'Mozilla/5.0 (X11; U; Linux i686; en-US; rv:1.9.2.17)
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Gecko/20110422 Ubuntu/8.04 (hardy) Firefox/3.6.17' );
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+ $agent->agent( 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; Intel Mac OS X 10.16; rv:84.0)
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Gecko/20100101 Firefox/84.0' );</code></pre>
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<p>For <span class="burn">10 years</span> (2011-2021), production traffic pretended to be Firefox 3.6 on
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<span class="burn">Ubuntu 8.04 Hardy Heron</span> — an OS released in 2008 and EOL'd in 2013.
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</p>
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<p>The original was added to bypass "bots forbidden" errors. Nothing says "I'm a real human" like a user
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agent from an OS that predates the Obama administration.</p>
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</div>
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+
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<!-- 2013 ERA -->
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<div class="era-header">🍺 The 2013 Era: Drunk Bot Rewrites 🤮</div>
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<div class="roast-item">
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<h2><a href="https://github.com/websages/jarvis/commit/9198b74">The Stone 13 Incident</a></h2>
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<p class="timeline">September 10, 2013 — 1:38 AM</p>
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<pre><code>commit 9198b74
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standings rewrite</code></pre>
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<p>The commit message doesn't tell the whole story. James White has stated in a chat session:</p>
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<div
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style="background: #1a1a2e; border-left: 3px solid #7289da; padding: 15px 20px; margin: 20px 0; border-radius: 0 6px 6px 0;">
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<p style="color: #7289da; font-size: 0.85em; margin-bottom: 8px;"><strong>jameswhite</strong>
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1:59 AM</p>
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<p style="color: #dcddde; margin: 0;">"I rewrote our perl irc bot so it would support google chat, xmpp,
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irc and then I drank <span class="burn">8 pints of stone 13 anniversary ale</span> and a shot
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jaegermeister"</p>
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</div>
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<p>Stone 13th Anniversary Ale is <span class="burn">9.5% ABV</span>. Eight pints is roughly 10 standard
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drinks. Plus Jäger. At 2 AM. After shipping a multi-protocol bot rewrite.</p>
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<p><strong>The Aftermath:</strong></p>
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<ul style="color: #aaa; margin-left: 20px;">
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<li>Made it away from the table</li>
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<li>Got carried to Lara's <span class="burn">brand new car</span></li>
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<li>Puked in the brand new car</li>
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<li>Got taken home</li>
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<li>Puked more</li>
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<li>Eventually felt very bad about his actions <em>much later</em></li>
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</ul>
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<p style="margin-top: 15px;">The commit is clean. The man was not. Lara's car was not.</p>
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</div>
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<!-- 2014 ERA -->
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<div class="era-header">⚰️ The 2014 Era: Failed Rewrites & Language Wars ⚰️</div>
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<div class="roast-item">
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<h2><a href="https://github.com/websages/tumble/commit/c187c59">The 39-Minute Go Experiment</a></h2>
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<p class="timeline">April 13, 2014</p>
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<pre><code>06:30 42ffced "Render twitter links as actual twitter links"
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(introduces Go utility, 45 lines)
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06:49 671f63c "Minor fixup to fall back to old behavior if the
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twit-link utility fails in any way"
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07:09 c187c59 "Remove golang dep - back to perl"
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(rewrites it in 6 lines of Perl)</code></pre>
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<p>The commit message reads: <em>"Since freyr is on squeeze, golang isn't readily available. <span
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class="burn">Oh well.</span>"</em></p>
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<p>39 minutes. That's how long the Go rewrite lasted before the team said "Oh well" and went back to Perl.
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The Go binary is still in <span class="file-ref"><a
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href="https://github.com/websages/tumble/blob/production/scripts/twit-link.go">scripts/twit-link.go</a></span>,
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forever unused.</p>
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</div>
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+
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<div class="roast-item">
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<h2><a href="https://github.com/websages/tumble/commit/f31411f">Remove Ruby Thing That Never Worked</a></h2>
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<p class="timeline">February 5, 2014</p>
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<pre><code>commit f31411f
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+
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Remove ruby thing that never worked
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32 files changed, 1485 deletions(-)</code></pre>
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<p>Three years of work (2011-2014). 32 files. CouchDB integration. A full test suite. All summarized with:
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<span class="burn">"that never worked."</span>
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</p>
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<p>The Ruby app included models, specs, views, and a Rakefile. It had more infrastructure than some Y
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Combinator startups. Three years of someone's life. Gone. Reduced to atoms. <span class="burn">Press F
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to pay respects.</span></p>
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</div>
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+
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<div class="roast-item">
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<h2><a href="https://github.com/websages/tumble/commit/a80d24d">Fix Scott's Typo</a></h2>
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<p class="timeline">February 5, 2014</p>
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<pre><code>-sub selectrow_array { return( shift->['dbi'}->selectrow_array( @_ ) ); }
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+sub selectrow_array { return( shift->{'dbi'}->selectrow_array( @_ ) ); }</code></pre>
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<p>Scott used <code>['dbi'}</code> instead of <code>{'dbi'}</code>. Mismatched brackets in Perl — a
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square bracket opening with a curly brace closing.</p>
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<p>The commit message: "Fix Scott's typo". <span class="burn">Scott knows what he did.</span></p>
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</div>
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<div class="roast-item">
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<h2><a href="https://github.com/websages/tumble/blob/production/htdocs/lib/tumble.pm#L123">The Twitter API
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v1 Fossil</a></h2>
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<p class="timeline">Still in production code</p>
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<pre><code>my $tw_uri = "https://api.twitter.com/1/statuses/oembed.json?id=" . $id;</code></pre>
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<p>Twitter API v1 was deprecated in 2012 and fully killed in 2013. This code has been dead for <span
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class="burn">over a decade</span> but still runs on every page load, silently failing.</p>
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<p>The <code>next unless $tw_j;</code> line catches the failure. No logging. No alerting. Just vibes.</p>
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</div>
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<div class="roast-item">
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<h2><a href="https://github.com/websages/tumble/blob/production/htdocs/lib/tumble/search.pm#L47">The Unicorn
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Placeholder</a></h2>
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<p class="timeline">Still in production code</p>
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<pre><code>my $string = 'unicorn';
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return unless $string;</code></pre>
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<p>Someone set a variable to <code>'unicorn'</code> and then immediately checks if it exists. It's never
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used for anything else. This is placeholder code that was <span class="burn">never finished</span> and
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has been running in production for over a decade.</p>
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<p>The unicorn is eternal. The unicorn does nothing.</p>
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</div>
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+
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<!-- PRODUCTION CODE GEMS -->
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<div class="era-header">🤬 Production Code: Say What You Mean 🤬</div>
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<p style="text-align: center; color: #888; margin-bottom: 30px;">These are in the actual codebase. Serving
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actual users. Right now. Today.</p>
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<div class="roast-item">
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<h2><a href="https://github.com/websages/tumble/blob/production/htdocs/buttons/button.cgi#L69">The Greg
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Buchanan Clause</a></h2>
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<p class="timeline">In production since 2010</p>
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<pre><code><span>PPS - If your name is Greg Buchanan and you just
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read the above postscript, you can suck my ass.</span></code></pre>
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<p>This is in <span class="file-ref"><a
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href="https://github.com/websages/tumble/blob/production/htdocs/buttons/button.cgi">htdocs/buttons/button.cgi</a></span>.
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A <span class="burn">customer-facing page</span>. For 15 years.</p>
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<p>Greg, if you're out there: they haven't forgotten.</p>
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+
</div>
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+
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<div class="roast-item">
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+
<h2><a href="https://github.com/websages/tumble/blob/production/htdocs/lib/tumble/search.pm#L90">The Helpful
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Search Error</a></h2>
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+
<p class="timeline">Still in production</p>
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<pre><code>Your search for '$search' did not return any results.
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Perhaps the following tips can help aid you on your quest:
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<ul>
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<li>Searches must be done using four or more characters.
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<li>MySQL fulltext-searching is the magic behind this.
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Stop blaming scott.
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<li>Try not to be such a fucking idiot.
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</ul></code></pre>
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<p>When your search returns no results, the app helpfully suggests you <span class="burn">"Try not to be
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such a fucking idiot."</span></p>
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<p>Customer service excellence. Somebody shipped this. Somebody reviewed this. Somebody said "yes, this is
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fine." <span class="burn">Incredible.</span></p>
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</div>
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+
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<div class="roast-item">
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<h2><a href="https://github.com/websages/tumble/blob/production/scripts/kittencheck">The Daily Kitten
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Infrastructure</a></h2>
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<p class="timeline">Critical production system</p>
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<pre><code>my $content = get( 'http://dailykitten.com/feed/' );
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XML::Twig->new(
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twig_handlers => {
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item => sub {
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$map->{$_->field( 'link' )}->{$a} = $_->field( $a );
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}
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}
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)->parse( $content );</code></pre>
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<p>Production infrastructure that depends on <code>dailykitten.com</code> staying online. This man scraped
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cat RSS feeds and called it a feature. <span class="burn">Absolute legend.</span></p>
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+
</div>
442
+
443
+
<div class="roast-item">
444
+
<h2><a href="https://github.com/websages/tumble/blob/production/scripts/flickrcheck#L13">The Disabled
445
+
Script</a></h2>
446
+
<pre><code>#!/usr/bin/perl
447
+
448
+
# until you have your own flickr feed, let's just exit 1
449
+
exit 1;
450
+
451
+
452
+
my $content = get(
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+
'http://www.flickr.com/services/feeds/...'
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+
);</code></pre>
455
+
<p>Line 13: <code>exit 1;</code>. The entire script is disabled. But the 60+ lines of Flickr integration
456
+
code below it remain, waiting patiently for a day that will never come.</p>
457
+
</div>
458
+
459
+
<div class="roast-item">
460
+
<h2><a href="https://github.com/websages/tumble/blob/production/htdocs/irclink/index.cgi#L127">The SQL
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+
Injection Special</a></h2>
462
+
<p class="timeline">Still in production</p>
463
+
<pre><code>my $url = $dbh->selectrow_array( qq{
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+
SELECT url FROM ircLink
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+
WHERE ircLinkID = '$id'
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+
} );</code></pre>
467
+
<p>Raw string interpolation in a SQL query. The <code>$id</code> comes directly from
468
+
<code>$ENV{'QUERY_STRING'}</code>. This is a <span class="burn">textbook SQL injection
469
+
vulnerability</span> that's been live for 15 years.
470
+
</p>
471
+
<p>Bobby Tables would be proud.</p>
472
+
</div>
473
+
474
+
<div class="roast-item">
475
+
<h2><a href="https://github.com/websages/tumble/blob/production/htdocs/buttons/button.cgi#L51">"How do I
476
+
install this crap??"</a></h2>
477
+
<p class="timeline">Customer-facing since 2010</p>
478
+
<pre><code><span class="tumble_item_quote_quote">So how do I install this crap??</span></code></pre>
479
+
<p>The sample text on a user-facing help page. Nothing says "professional software" like calling your own
480
+
product <span class="burn">"crap"</span> in the UI.</p>
481
+
</div>
482
+
483
+
<div class="roast-item">
484
+
<h2><a href="https://github.com/websages/tumble/blob/production/htdocs/buttons/button.cgi#L63">"MSIE sucks.
485
+
Stop using it."</a></h2>
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+
<p class="timeline">Customer-facing since 2010</p>
487
+
<pre><code><span>PS - Unfortunately, tumblebuttons don't work with
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+
Microsoft Internet Explorer. MSIE sucks. Stop using it.</span></code></pre>
489
+
<p>Public browser shaming on a customer-facing page. To be fair, it was IE. But still — <span
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+
class="burn">in production</span>.</p>
491
+
</div>
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+
493
+
<!-- ORIGIN STORY -->
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+
<div class="era-header">🦕 2010: The Origin Story 🦕</div>
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+
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+
<p style="text-align: center; color: #888; margin-bottom: 30px;">Where it all began. Where it all went wrong.
497
+
</p>
498
+
499
+
<div class="roast-item">
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+
<h2><a href="https://github.com/websages/tumble/commit/b53cd47">Initial Git Insert</a></h2>
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+
<p class="timeline">March 2, 2010 — The beginning</p>
502
+
<pre><code>commit b53cd478f0fc373f466bd35ccc8df48c6a00c9cf
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+
Author: James White <whitejs@websages.com>
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+
Date: Tue Mar 2 12:07:59 2010 -0600
505
+
506
+
initial git insert for tumble.wcyd.org</code></pre>
507
+
<p>"git insert." <span class="burn">INSERT.</span> This isn't SQL, James. Did you learn git that morning
508
+
from a man at a bus stop?</p>
509
+
</div>
510
+
511
+
<div class="roast-item">
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+
<h2>The Swap File</h2>
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+
<p class="timeline">Committed in 2010, removed in 2014</p>
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+
<pre><code>b0VIM 7.0
515
+
schnesa
516
+
fapestniegd
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+
/var/www/sites/tumble.loserfish.org/htdocs/thtml/tumble_item_top5.thtml</code></pre>
518
+
<p>James committed a vim swap file containing his server's hostname. He doxxed his dev box AND immortalized
519
+
his vim session. This <code>.swp</code> haunted the repo for 4 years until <a
520
+
href="https://github.com/websages/tumble/commit/5299713">someone finally noticed</a>.</p>
521
+
</div>
522
+
523
+
<div class="roast-item">
524
+
<h2><a href="https://github.com/websages/tumble/commit/f04b1b2">"...ugh"</a></h2>
525
+
<p class="timeline">May 20, 2010</p>
526
+
<pre><code>commit f04b1b2
527
+
528
+
hard-coding the new db server in the 5 places it's buried, ugh</code></pre>
529
+
<p>The database connection string was hardcoded in 5 different files. The commit message's trailing "ugh"
530
+
conveys the exact energy of maintaining this codebase.</p>
531
+
</div>
532
+
533
+
<div class="roast-item">
534
+
<h2>The Binary Situation</h2>
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+
<p class="timeline">March 2, 2010</p>
536
+
<pre><code>+ htdocs/2202/2202.swf | Bin 0 -> 1113251 bytes</code></pre>
537
+
<p>A 1.1MB Flash file. Raw-dogged straight into git. Steve Jobs had already killed Flash by this point, but
538
+
James said <span class="burn">"not on my watch."</span></p>
539
+
</div>
540
+
541
+
<!-- HALL OF FAME -->
542
+
<div class="hall-of-fame">
543
+
<h2>🏆 Commit Message Hall of Fame 🏆</h2>
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+
<p style="text-align: center; color: #888; margin-bottom: 20px;">Messages that will echo through eternity.
545
+
Click any hash to witness the horror yourself.</p>
546
+
547
+
<div class="commit">
548
+
<span class="commit-hash"><a href="https://github.com/websages/tumble/commit/816923c">816923c</a></span>
549
+
- <span class="commit-msg">"in the middele of breaking shit"</span>
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+
<p class="commit-note">Note the typo in "middele" for extra authenticity. Committed on a Sunday.</p>
551
+
</div>
552
+
553
+
<div class="commit">
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+
<span class="commit-hash"><a href="https://github.com/websages/tumble/commit/deaece6">deaece6</a></span>
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+
- <span class="commit-msg">"nonworking commit to work around"</span>
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+
<p class="commit-note">The commit that admits its own defeat in the message.</p>
557
+
</div>
558
+
559
+
<div class="commit">
560
+
<span class="commit-hash"><a href="https://github.com/websages/tumble/commit/951b050">951b050</a></span>
561
+
- <span class="commit-msg">"fixed the libraries again..."</span>
562
+
<p class="commit-note">That trailing ellipsis conveys volumes of resignation.</p>
563
+
</div>
564
+
565
+
<div class="commit">
566
+
<span class="commit-hash"><a href="https://github.com/websages/tumble/commit/078ea9a">078ea9a</a></span>
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+
- <span class="commit-msg">"pictures work!"</span>
568
+
<p class="commit-note">The exclamation point of someone who wasn't sure it would.</p>
569
+
</div>
570
+
571
+
<div class="commit">
572
+
<span class="commit-hash"><a href="https://github.com/websages/tumble/commit/4ab33c9">4ab33c9</a></span>
573
+
- <span class="commit-msg">"changing the useragent because of 'bots forbidden' errors"</span>
574
+
<p class="commit-note">The beginning of the decade-long Ubuntu Hardy masquerade.</p>
575
+
</div>
576
+
</div>
577
+
578
+
<!-- CONTRIBUTORS -->
579
+
<div class="hall-of-fame">
580
+
<h2>🎭 The Cast of Characters 🎭</h2>
581
+
<p style="text-align: center; color: #888; margin-bottom: 20px;">The architects of this disaster. The
582
+
legends. The warnings.</p>
583
+
584
+
<div class="commit">
585
+
<span class="commit-msg" style="color: #f7931e;">Michael Stahnke</span> - <span
586
+
style="color: #7ee787;">57 commits</span>
587
+
<p class="commit-note">The hero who tried to clean up everyone else's mess. Deleted the Ruby thing,
588
+
tried Go for 39 minutes, fixed Scott's typo. Carried the team in 2014.</p>
589
+
</div>
590
+
591
+
<div class="commit">
592
+
<span class="commit-msg" style="color: #f7931e;">James White</span> - <span style="color: #7ee787;">13
593
+
commits</span>
594
+
<p class="commit-note">The origin. The "git insert." The man who committed a vim swap file and a 1.1MB
595
+
Flash binary. Patient zero.</p>
596
+
</div>
597
+
598
+
<div class="commit">
599
+
<span class="commit-msg" style="color: #f7931e;">Aziz Shamim</span> - <span style="color: #7ee787;">12
600
+
commits</span>
601
+
<p class="commit-note">Architect of the Ruby rewrite that never worked. Author of "in the middele of
602
+
breaking shit" and "nonworking commit to work around."</p>
603
+
</div>
604
+
605
+
<div class="commit">
606
+
<span class="commit-msg" style="color: #f7931e;">Stephen Yeargin</span> - <span
607
+
style="color: #7ee787;">6 commits</span>
608
+
<p class="commit-note">Emerged from 4 years of silence to declare "TLS is a nice-to-have." Typo'd
609
+
"hostname" as "hostanme" in a branch name.</p>
610
+
</div>
611
+
612
+
<div class="commit">
613
+
<span class="commit-msg" style="color: #f7931e;">Scott Schneider</span> - <span
614
+
style="color: #7ee787;">4 commits</span>
615
+
<p class="commit-note">Made the typo. You know the one. <code>['dbi'}</code>. Never forget.</p>
616
+
</div>
617
+
</div>
618
+
619
+
<!-- TIMELINE -->
620
+
<div class="hall-of-fame">
621
+
<h2>📅 The Timeline of Neglect 📅</h2>
622
+
<p style="text-align: center; color: #888; margin-bottom: 20px;">A visual representation of giving up.</p>
623
+
624
+
<div style="text-align: center; padding: 20px; color: #888;">
625
+
<p style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.9em; line-height: 2;">
626
+
<span style="color: #7ee787;">2010</span> ████░░░░░░ Origin story, Flash files, swap files<br>
627
+
<span style="color: #7ee787;">2011</span> ████████░░ Ruby rewrite attempt begins<br>
628
+
<span style="color: #888;">2012</span> ░░░░░░░░░░ <span style="color: #666;">(2 commits)</span><br>
629
+
<span style="color: #f7931e;">2013</span> ██░░░░░░░░ James rewrites bot after 8 Stone 13s +
630
+
Jäger<br>
631
+
<span style="color: #7ee787;">2014</span> ██████████ Michael's heroic cleanup, Go experiment, Ruby
632
+
deletion<br>
633
+
<span style="color: #7ee787;">2015</span> ░░░░░░░░░░ <span style="color: #666;">(2
634
+
commits)</span><br>
635
+
<span style="color: #ff6b35;">2016</span> ░░░░░░░░░░ <span style="color: #666;">nothing</span><br>
636
+
<span style="color: #ff6b35;">2017</span> ░░░░░░░░░░ <span style="color: #666;">nothing</span><br>
637
+
<span style="color: #ff6b35;">2018</span> ░░░░░░░░░░ <span style="color: #666;">nothing</span><br>
638
+
<span style="color: #ff6b35;">2019</span> ░░░░░░░░░░ <span style="color: #666;">nothing</span><br>
639
+
<span style="color: #ff6b35;">2020</span> ░░░░░░░░░░ <span style="color: #666;">nothing</span><br>
640
+
<span style="color: #f7931e;">2021</span> ░░░░░░░░░░ Stephen disables SSL verification<br>
641
+
<span style="color: #ff6b35;">2022</span> ░░░░░░░░░░ <span style="color: #666;">nothing</span><br>
642
+
<span style="color: #ff6b35;">2023</span> ░░░░░░░░░░ <span style="color: #666;">nothing</span><br>
643
+
<span style="color: #ff6b35;">2024</span> ░░░░░░░░░░ <span style="color: #666;">nothing</span><br>
644
+
<span style="color: #79c0ff;">2025</span> █░░░░░░░░░ This roast
645
+
</p>
646
+
<p style="margin-top: 20px; font-style: italic;">Pattern: years of silence, then someone shows up to
647
+
make security worse.</p>
648
+
</div>
649
+
</div>
650
+
651
+
<p class="epic-quote">
652
+
"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Swap files committed on repos off the shoulder of Orion. I
653
+
watched kitten feeds glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in
654
+
time, like tears in rain... Time to <code>git push</code>."
655
+
</p>
656
+
657
+
<footer>
658
+
<p>Source code: <a href="https://github.com/websages/tumble">websages/tumble</a></p>
659
+
<p>Still running at <a href="http://tumble.wcyd.org">tumble.wcyd.org</a> since 2004</p>
660
+
<p style="margin-top: 20px; color: #444;">Made with love and <code>git log --all --oneline</code></p>
661
+
</footer>
662
+
</div>
663
+
</body>
664
+
665
+
</html>