The code and data behind xeiaso.net
Add writing-clearly-and-concisely skill from tigris-blog (#1147)
Copy the Strunk-based writing skill that applies Elements of Style
rules to prose. Includes the SKILL.md and full elements-of-style.md
reference.
https://claude.ai/code/session_01VXpXouWGyQna6JLksukFup
Co-authored-by: Claude <noreply@anthropic.com>
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---
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name: writing-clearly-and-concisely
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description:
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Apply Strunk's timeless writing rules to ANY prose humans will
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read—documentation, commit messages, error messages, explanations, reports, or
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UI text. Makes your writing clearer, stronger, and more professional.
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---
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# Writing Clearly and Concisely
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## Overview
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William Strunk Jr.'s _The Elements of Style_ (1918) teaches you to write clearly
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and cut ruthlessly.
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**WARNING:** `elements-of-style.md` consumes ~12,000 tokens. Read it only when
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writing or editing prose.
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## When to Use This Skill
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Use this skill whenever you write prose for humans:
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- Documentation, README files, technical explanations
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- Commit messages, pull request descriptions
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- Error messages, UI copy, help text, comments
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- Reports, summaries, or any explanation
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- Editing to improve clarity
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**If you're writing sentences for a human to read, use this skill.**
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## Limited Context Strategy
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When context is tight:
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1. Write your draft using judgment
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2. Dispatch a subagent with your draft and `elements-of-style.md`
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3. Have the subagent copyedit and return the revision
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## All Rules
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### Elementary Rules of Usage (Grammar/Punctuation)
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1. Form possessive singular by adding 's
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2. Use comma after each term in series except last
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3. Enclose parenthetic expressions between commas
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4. Comma before conjunction introducing co-ordinate clause
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5. Don't join independent clauses by comma
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6. Don't break sentences in two
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7. Participial phrase at beginning refers to grammatical subject
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### Elementary Principles of Composition
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8. One paragraph per topic
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9. Begin paragraph with topic sentence
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10. **Use active voice**
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11. **Put statements in positive form**
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12. **Use definite, specific, concrete language**
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13. **Omit needless words**
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14. Avoid succession of loose sentences
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15. Express co-ordinate ideas in similar form
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16. **Keep related words together**
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17. Keep to one tense in summaries
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18. **Place emphatic words at end of sentence**
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### Section V: Words and Expressions Commonly Misused
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Alphabetical reference for usage questions
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## Bottom Line
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Writing for humans? Read `elements-of-style.md` and apply the rules. Low on
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tokens? Dispatch a subagent to copyedit with the guide.
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# The Elements of Style (1918)
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_Public domain text by William Strunk Jr._
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## Contents
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- [I. Introductory](#i-introductory)
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- [II. Elementary Rules Of Usage](#ii-elementary-rules-of-usage)
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- [Rule 1. Form the possessive singular of nouns by adding 's.](#rule-1-form-the-possessive-singular-of-nouns-by-adding-s)
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- [Rule 2. In a series of three or more terms with a single conjunction, use a comma after each term except the last.](#rule-2-in-a-series-of-three-or-more-terms-with-a-single-conjunction-use-a-comma-after-each-term-except-the-last)
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- [Rule 3. Enclose parenthetic expressions between commas.](#rule-3-enclose-parenthetic-expressions-between-commas)
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- [Rule 4. Place a comma before a conjunction introducing a co-ordinate clause.](#rule-4-place-a-comma-before-a-conjunction-introducing-a-co-ordinate-clause)
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- [Rule 5. Do not join independent clauses by a comma.](#rule-5-do-not-join-independent-clauses-by-a-comma)
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- [Rule 6. Do not break sentences in two.](#rule-6-do-not-break-sentences-in-two)
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- [Rule 7. A participial phrase at the beginning of a sentence must refer to the grammatical subject.](#rule-7-a-participial-phrase-at-the-beginning-of-a-sentence-must-refer-to-the-grammatical-subject)
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- [III. Elementary Principles Of Composition](#iii-elementary-principles-of-composition)
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- [Rule 8. Make the paragraph the unit of composition: one paragraph to each topic.](#rule-8-make-the-paragraph-the-unit-of-composition-one-paragraph-to-each-topic)
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- [Rule 9. As a rule, begin each paragraph with a topic sentence, end it in conformity with the beginning.](#rule-9-as-a-rule-begin-each-paragraph-with-a-topic-sentence-end-it-in-conformity-with-the-beginning)
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- [Rule 10. Use the active voice.](#rule-10-use-the-active-voice)
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- [Rule 11. Put statements in positive form.](#rule-11-put-statements-in-positive-form)
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- [Rule 12. Use definite, specific, concrete language.](#rule-12-use-definite-specific-concrete-language)
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- [Rule 13. Omit needless words.](#rule-13-omit-needless-words)
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- [Rule 14. Avoid a succession of loose sentences](#rule-14-avoid-a-succession-of-loose-sentences)
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- [Rule 15. Express co-ordinate ideas in similar form.](#rule-15-express-co-ordinate-ideas-in-similar-form)
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- [Rule 16. Keep related words together.](#rule-16-keep-related-words-together)
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- [Rule 17. In summaries, keep to one tense.](#rule-17-in-summaries-keep-to-one-tense)
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- [Rule 18. Place the emphatic words of a sentence at the end.](#rule-18-place-the-emphatic-words-of-a-sentence-at-the-end)
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- [V. Words And Expressions Commonly Misused](#v-words-and-expressions-commonly-misused)
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## I. Introductory
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This handbook summarizes the essentials of plain English style. It focuses on
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the rules of usage and principles of composition most often broken, offering a
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compact alternative to exhaustive manuals. Master the guidance here, then look
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to the best authors for finer points of style.
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## II. Elementary Rules Of Usage
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### Rule 1. Form the possessive singular of nouns by adding 's.
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Follow this rule whatever the final consonant. Thus write,
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Charles's friend
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Burns's poems
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the witch's malice
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This is the usage of the United States Government Printing Office and of the
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Oxford University Press.
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Exceptions are the possessive of ancient proper names in _-es_ and _-is_, the
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possessive _Jesus'_, and such forms as _for conscience' sake_, _for
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righteousness' sake_. But such forms as _Achilles' heel_, _Moses' laws_, _Isis'
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temple_ are commonly replaced by
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the heel of Achilles
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the laws of Moses
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the temple of Isis
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The pronominal possessives _hers_, _its_, _theirs_, _yours_, and _oneself_ have
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no apostrophe.
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### Rule 2. In a series of three or more terms with a single conjunction, use a comma after each term except the last.
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Thus write,
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red, white, and blue
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gold, silver, or copper
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He opened the letter, read it, and made a note of its contents.
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This is also the usage of the Government Printing Office and of the Oxford
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University Press.
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In the names of business firms the last comma is omitted, as,
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Brown, Shipley & Co.
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### Rule 3. Enclose parenthetic expressions between commas.
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The best way to see a country, unless you are pressed for time, is to travel on
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foot.
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This rule is difficult to apply; it is frequently hard to decide whether a
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single word, such as _however_, or a brief phrase, is or is not parenthetic. If
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the interruption to the flow of the sentence is but slight, the writer may
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safely omit the commas. But whether the interruption be slight or considerable,
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he must never insert one comma and omit the other. Such punctuation as
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Marjorie's husband, Colonel Nelson paid us a visit yesterday,
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or
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My brother you will be pleased to hear, is now in perfect health,
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is indefensible.
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If a parenthetic expression is preceded by a conjunction, place the first comma
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before the conjunction, not after it.
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He saw us coming, and unaware that we had learned of his treachery, greeted us
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with a smile.
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Always to be regarded as parenthetic and to be enclosed between commas (or, at
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the end of the sentence, between comma and period) are the following:
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\(1\) the year, when forming part of a date, and the day of the month, when
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following the day of the week:
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February to July, 1916.
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April 6, 1917.
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Monday, November 11, 1918.
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\(2\) the abbreviations _etc._ and _jr._
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\(3\) non-restrictive relative clauses, that is, those which do not serve to
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identify or define the antecedent noun, and similar clauses introduced by
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conjunctions indicating time or place.
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The audience, which had at first been indifferent, became more and more
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interested.
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In this sentence the clause introduced by _which_ does not serve to tell which
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of several possible audiences is meant; what audience is in question is supposed
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to be already known. The clause adds, parenthetically, a statement supplementing
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that in the main clause. The sentence is virtually a combination of two
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statements which might have been made independently:
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The audience had at first been indifferent. It became more and more interested.
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Compare the restrictive relative clause, not set off by commas, in the sentence,
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The candidate who best meets these requirements will obtain the place.
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Here the clause introduced by _who_ does serve to tell which of several possible
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candidates is meant; the sentence cannot be split up into two independent
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statements.
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The difference in punctuation in the two sentences following is based on the
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same principle:
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Nether Stowey, where Coleridge wrote The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, is a few
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miles from Bridgewater.
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The day will come when you will admit your mistake.
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Nether Stowey is completely identified by its name; the statement about
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Coleridge is therefore supplementary and parenthetic. The _day_ spoken of is
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identified only by the dependent clause, which is therefore restrictive.
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Similar in principle to the enclosing of parenthetic expressions between commas
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is the setting off by commas of phrases or dependent clauses preceding or
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following the main clause of a sentence.
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Partly by hard fighting, partly by diplomatic skill, they enlarged their
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dominions to the east, and rose to royal rank with the possession of Sicily,
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exchanged afterwards for Sardinia.
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Other illustrations may be found in sentences quoted under Rules 4, 5, 6, 7, 16,
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and 18.
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The writer should be careful not to set off independent clauses by commas: see
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under Rule 5.
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### Rule 4. Place a comma before a conjunction introducing a co-ordinate clause.
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The early records of the city have disappeared, and the story of its first years
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can no longer be reconstructed.
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The situation is perilous, but there is still one chance of escape.
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Sentences of this type, isolated from their context, may seem to be in need of
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rewriting. As they make complete sense when the comma is reached, the second
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clause has the appearance of an afterthought. Further, _and_ is the least
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specific of connectives. Used between independent clauses, it indicates only
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that a relation exists between them without defining that relation. In the
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example above, the relation is that of cause and result. The two sentences might
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be rewritten:
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As the early records of the city have disappeared, the story of its first years
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can no longer be reconstructed.
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Although the situation is perilous, there is still one chance of escape.
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Or the subordinate clauses might be replaced by phrases:
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Owing to the disappearance of the early records of the city, the story of its
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first years can no longer be reconstructed.
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In this perilous situation, there is still one chance of escape.
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But a writer may err by making his sentences too uniformly compact and periodic,
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and an occasional loose sentence prevents the style from becoming too formal and
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gives the reader a certain relief. Consequently, loose sentences of the type
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first quoted are common in easy, unstudied writing. But a writer should be
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careful not to construct too many of his sentences after this pattern (see Rule
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14).
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Two-part sentences of which the second member is introduced by _as_ (in the
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sense of _because_), _for_, _or_, _nor_, and _while_ (in the sense of _and at
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the same time_) likewise require a comma before the conjunction.
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If the second member is introduced by an adverb, a semicolon, not a comma, is
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required (see Rule 5). The connectives _so_ and _yet_ may be used either as
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adverbs or as conjunctions, accordingly as the second clause is felt to be
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co-ordinate or subordinate; consequently either mark of punctuation may be
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justified. But these uses of _so_ (equivalent to _accordingly_ or to _so that_)
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are somewhat colloquial and should, as a rule, be avoided in writing. A simple
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correction, usually serviceable, is to omit the word _so_ and begin the first
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clause with _as_ or _since_:
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| Original | Revision |
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| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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| I had never been in the place before; so I had difficulty in finding my way about. | As I had never been in the place before, I had difficulty in finding my way about. |
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If a dependent clause, or an introductory phrase requiring to be set off by a
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comma, precedes the second independent clause, no comma is needed after the
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conjunction.
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The situation is perilous, but if we are prepared to act promptly, there is
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still one chance of escape.
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When the subject is the same for both clauses and is expressed only once, a
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comma is required if the connective is _but_. If the connective is _and_, the
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comma should be omitted if the relation between the two statements is close or
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immediate.
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I have heard his arguments, but am still unconvinced.
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He has had several years' experience and is thoroughly competent.
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### Rule 5. Do not join independent clauses by a comma.
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If two or more clauses, grammatically complete and not joined by a conjunction,
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are to form a single compound sentence, the proper mark of punctuation is a
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semicolon.
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Stevenson's romances are entertaining; they are full of exciting adventures.
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It is nearly half past five; we cannot reach town before dark.
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It is of course equally correct to write the above as two sentences each,
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replacing the semicolons by periods.
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Stevenson's romances are entertaining. They are full of exciting adventures.
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It is nearly half past five. We cannot reach town before dark.
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If a conjunction is inserted the proper mark is a comma (Rule 4).
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Stevenson's romances are entertaining, for they are full of exciting adventures.
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It is nearly half past five, and we cannot reach town before dark.
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A comparison of the three forms given above will show clearly the advantage of
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the first. It is, at least in the examples given, better than the second form,
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because it suggests the close relationship between the two statements in a way
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that the second does not attempt, and better than the third, because briefer and
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therefore more forcible. Indeed it may be said that this simple method of
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indicating relationship between statements is one of the most useful devices of
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composition. The relationship, as above, is commonly one of cause or of
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consequence.
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Note that if the second clause is preceded by an adverb, such as _accordingly_,
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_besides_, _then_, _therefore_, or _thus_, and not by a conjunction, the
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semicolon is still required.
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Two exceptions to the rule may be admitted. If the clauses are very short, and
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are alike in form, a comma is usually permissible:
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Man proposes, God disposes.
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The gate swung apart, the bridge fell, the portcullis was drawn up.
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Note that in these examples the relation is not one of cause or consequence.
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Also in the colloquial form of expression,
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I hardly knew him, he was so changed,
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a comma, not a semicolon, is required. But this form of expression is
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inappropriate in writing, except in the dialogue of a story or play, or perhaps
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in a familiar letter.
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### Rule 6. Do not break sentences in two.
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In other words, do not use periods for commas.
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I met them on a Cunard liner several years ago. Coming home from Liverpool to
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New York.
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He was an interesting talker. A man who had traveled all over the world and
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lived in half a dozen countries.
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In both these examples, the first period should be replaced by a comma, and the
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following word begun with a small letter.
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It is permissible to make an emphatic word or expression serve the purpose of a
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sentence and to punctuate it accordingly:
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Again and again he called out. No reply.
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The writer must, however, be certain that the emphasis is warranted, and that he
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will not be suspected of a mere blunder in syntax or in punctuation.
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Rules 3, 4, 5, and 6 cover the most important principles in the punctuation of
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ordinary sentences; they should be so thoroughly mastered that their application
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becomes second nature.
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### Rule 7. A participial phrase at the beginning of a sentence must refer to the grammatical subject.
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Walking slowly down the road, he saw a woman accompanied by two children.
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The word _walking_ refers to the subject of the sentence, not to the woman. If
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the writer wishes to make it refer to the woman, he must recast the sentence:
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He saw a woman accompanied by two children, walking slowly down the road.
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Participial phrases preceded by a conjunction or by a preposition, nouns in
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apposition, adjectives, and adjective phrases come under the same rule if they
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begin the sentence.
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| Original | Revision |
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| --------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ |
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| On arriving in Chicago, his friends met him at the station. | When he arrived (or, On his arrival) in Chicago, his friends met him at the station. |
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| A soldier of proved valor, they entrusted him with the defence of the city. | A soldier of proved valor, he was entrusted with the defence of the city. |
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| Young and inexperienced, the task seemed easy to me. | Young and inexperienced, I thought the task easy. |
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| Without a friend to counsel him, the temptation proved irresistible. | Without a friend to counsel him, he found the temptation irresistible. |
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Sentences violating this rule are often ludicrous.
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Being in a dilapidated condition, I was able to buy the house very cheap.
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Wondering irresolutely what to do next, the clock struck twelve.
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## III. Elementary Principles Of Composition
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### Rule 8. Make the paragraph the unit of composition: one paragraph to each topic.
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If the subject on which you are writing is of slight extent, or if you intend to
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treat it very briefly, there may be no need of subdividing it into topics. Thus
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a brief description, a brief summary of a literary work, a brief account of a
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single incident, a narrative merely outlining an action, the setting forth of a
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single idea, any one of these is best written in a single paragraph. After the
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paragraph has been written, examine it to see whether subdivision will not
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improve it.
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Ordinarily, however, a subject requires subdivision into topics, each of which
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should be made the subject of a paragraph. The object of treating each topic in
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a paragraph by itself is, of course, to aid the reader. The beginning of each
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paragraph is a signal to him that a new step in the development of the subject
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has been reached.
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The extent of subdivision will vary with the length of the composition. For
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example, a short notice of a book or poem might consist of a single paragraph.
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One slightly longer might consist of two paragraphs:
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- A. Account of the work.
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- B. Critical discussion.
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A report on a poem, written for a class in literature, might consist of seven
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paragraphs:
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- A. Facts of composition and publication.
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- B. Kind of poem; metrical form.
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- C. Subject.
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- D. Treatment of subject.
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- E. For what chiefly remarkable.
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- F. Wherein characteristic of the writer.
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- G. Relationship to other works.
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The contents of paragraphs C and D would vary with the poem. Usually, paragraph
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C would indicate the actual or imagined circumstances of the poem (the
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situation), if these call for explanation, and would then state the subject and
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outline its development. If the poem is a narrative in the third person
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throughout, paragraph C need contain no more than a concise summary of the
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action. Paragraph D would indicate the leading ideas and show how they are made
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prominent, or would indicate what points in the narrative are chiefly
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emphasized.
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A novel might be discussed under the heads:
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- A. Setting.
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- B. Plot.
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- C. Characters.
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- D. Purpose.
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+
393
+
An historical event might be discussed under the heads:
394
+
395
+
- A. What led up to the event.
396
+
- B. Account of the event.
397
+
- C. What the event led up to.
398
+
399
+
In treating either of these last two subjects, the writer would probably find it
400
+
necessary to subdivide one or more of the topics here given.
401
+
402
+
As a rule, single sentences should not be written or printed as paragraphs. An
403
+
exception may be made of sentences of transition, indicating the relation
404
+
between the parts of an exposition or argument. Frequent exceptions are also
405
+
necessary in textbooks, guidebooks, and other works in which many topics are
406
+
treated briefly.
407
+
408
+
In dialogue, each speech, even if only a single word, is a paragraph by itself;
409
+
that is, a new paragraph begins with each change of speaker. The application of
410
+
this rule, when dialogue and narrative are combined, is best learned from
411
+
examples in well-printed works of fiction.
412
+
413
+
### Rule 9. As a rule, begin each paragraph with a topic sentence, end it in conformity with the beginning.
414
+
415
+
Again, the object is to aid the reader. The practice here recommended enables
416
+
him to discover the purpose of each paragraph as he begins to read it, and to
417
+
retain this purpose in mind as he ends it. For this reason, the most generally
418
+
useful kind of paragraph, particularly in exposition and argument, is that in
419
+
which
420
+
421
+
\(a\) the topic sentence comes at or near the beginning;
422
+
423
+
\(b\) the succeeding sentences explain or establish or develop the statement
424
+
made in the topic sentence; and
425
+
426
+
\(c\) the final sentence either emphasizes the thought of the topic sentence or
427
+
states some important consequence.
428
+
429
+
Ending with a digression, or with an unimportant detail, is particularly to be
430
+
avoided.
431
+
432
+
If the paragraph forms part of a larger composition, its relation to what
433
+
precedes, or its function as a part of the whole, may need to be expressed. This
434
+
can sometimes be done by a mere word or phrase (_again_; _therefore_; _for the
435
+
same reason_) in the topic sentence. Sometimes, however, it is expedient to
436
+
precede the topic sentence by one or more sentences of introduction or
437
+
transition. If more than one such sentence is required, it is generally better
438
+
to set apart the transitional sentences as a separate paragraph.
439
+
440
+
According to the writer's purpose, he may, as indicated above, relate the body
441
+
of the paragraph to the topic sentence in one or more of several different ways.
442
+
He may make the meaning of the topic sentence clearer by restating it in other
443
+
forms, by defining its terms, by denying the contrary, by giving illustrations
444
+
or specific instances; he may establish it by proofs; or he may develop it by
445
+
showing its implications and consequences. In a long paragraph, he may carry out
446
+
several of these processes.
447
+
448
+
1 Now, to be properly enjoyed, a walking tour should be gone upon alone. 2 If
449
+
you go in a company, or even in pairs, it is no longer a walking tour in
450
+
anything but name; it is something else and more in the nature of a picnic. 3 A
451
+
walking tour should be gone upon alone, because freedom is of the essence;
452
+
because you should be able to stop and go on, and follow this way or that, as
453
+
the freak takes you; and because you must have your own pace, and neither trot
454
+
alongside a champion walker, nor mince in time with a girl. 4 And you must be
455
+
open to all impressions and let your thoughts take colour from what you see. 5
456
+
You should be as a pipe for any wind to play upon. 6 “I cannot see the wit,”
457
+
says Hazlitt, “of walking and talking at the same time. 7 When I am in the
458
+
country, I wish to vegetate like the country,” which is the gist of all that can
459
+
be said upon the matter. 8 There should be no cackle of voices at your elbow, to
460
+
jar on the meditative silence of the morning. 9 And so long as a man is
461
+
reasoning he cannot surrender himself to that fine intoxication that comes of
462
+
much motion in the open air, that begins in a sort of dazzle and sluggishness of
463
+
the brain, and ends in a peace that passes comprehension.—Stevenson, Walking
464
+
Tours.
465
+
466
+
1 Topic sentence. 2 The meaning made clearer by denial of the contrary. 3 The
467
+
topic sentence repeated, in abridged form, and supported by three reasons; the
468
+
meaning of the third (“you must have your own pace”) made clearer by denying the
469
+
contrary. 4 A fourth reason, stated in two forms. 5 The same reason, stated in
470
+
still another form. 6–7 The same reason as stated by Hazlitt. 8 Repetition, in
471
+
paraphrase, of the quotation from Hazlitt. 9 Final statement of the fourth
472
+
reason, in language amplified and heightened to form a strong conclusion.
473
+
474
+
1 It was chiefly in the eighteenth century that a very different conception of
475
+
history grew up. 2 Historians then came to believe that their task was not so
476
+
much to paint a picture as to solve a problem; to explain or illustrate the
477
+
successive phases of national growth, prosperity, and adversity. 3 The history
478
+
of morals, of industry, of intellect, and of art; the changes that take place in
479
+
manners or beliefs; the dominant ideas that prevailed in successive periods; the
480
+
rise, fall, and modification of political constitutions; in a word, all the
481
+
conditions of national well-being became the subject of their works. 4 They
482
+
sought rather to write a history of peoples than a history of kings. 5 They
483
+
looked especially in history for the chain of causes and effects. 6 They
484
+
undertook to study in the past the physiology of nations, and hoped by applying
485
+
the experimental method on a large scale to deduce some lessons of real value
486
+
about the conditions on which the welfare of society mainly depend.—Lecky, The
487
+
Political Value of History.
488
+
489
+
1 Topic sentence. 2 The meaning of the topic sentence made clearer; the new
490
+
conception of history defined. 3 The definition expanded. 4 The definition
491
+
explained by contrast. 5 The definition supplemented: another element in the new
492
+
conception of history. 6 Conclusion: an important consequence of the new
493
+
conception of history.
494
+
495
+
In narration and description the paragraph sometimes begins with a concise,
496
+
comprehensive statement serving to hold together the details that follow.
497
+
498
+
The breeze served us admirably.
499
+
500
+
The campaign opened with a series of reverses.
501
+
502
+
The next ten or twelve pages were filled with a curious set of entries.
503
+
504
+
But this device, if too often used, would become a mannerism. More commonly the
505
+
opening sentence simply indicates by its subject with what the paragraph is to
506
+
be principally concerned.
507
+
508
+
At length I thought I might return towards the stockade.
509
+
510
+
He picked up the heavy lamp from the table and began to explore.
511
+
512
+
Another flight of steps, and they emerged on the roof.
513
+
514
+
The brief paragraphs of animated narrative, however, are often without even this
515
+
semblance of a topic sentence. The break between them serves the purpose of a
516
+
rhetorical pause, throwing into prominence some detail of the action.
517
+
518
+
### Rule 10. Use the active voice.
519
+
520
+
The active voice is usually more direct and vigorous than the passive:
521
+
522
+
I shall always remember my first visit to Boston.
523
+
524
+
This is much better than
525
+
526
+
My first visit to Boston will always be remembered by me.
527
+
528
+
The latter sentence is less direct, less bold, and less concise. If the writer
529
+
tries to make it more concise by omitting “by me,”
530
+
531
+
My first visit to Boston will always be remembered,
532
+
533
+
it becomes indefinite: is it the writer, or some person undisclosed, or the
534
+
world at large, that will always remember this visit?
535
+
536
+
This rule does not, of course, mean that the writer should entirely discard the
537
+
passive voice, which is frequently convenient and sometimes necessary.
538
+
539
+
The dramatists of the Restoration are little esteemed to-day.
540
+
541
+
Modern readers have little esteem for the dramatists of the Restoration.
542
+
543
+
The first would be the right form in a paragraph on the dramatists of the
544
+
Restoration; the second, in a paragraph on the tastes of modern readers. The
545
+
need of making a particular word the subject of the sentence will often, as in
546
+
these examples, determine which voice is to be used.
547
+
548
+
As a rule, avoid making one passive depend directly upon another.
549
+
550
+
| Original | Revision |
551
+
| ----------------------------------------------------------- | -------------------------------------------------------------------- |
552
+
| Gold was not allowed to be exported. | It was forbidden to export gold (The export of gold was prohibited). |
553
+
| He has been proved to have been seen entering the building. | It has been proved that he was seen to enter the building. |
554
+
555
+
In both the examples above, before correction, the word properly related to the
556
+
second passive is made the subject of the first.
557
+
558
+
A common fault is to use as the subject of a passive construction a noun which
559
+
expresses the entire action, leaving to the verb no function beyond that of
560
+
completing the sentence.
561
+
562
+
| Original | Revision |
563
+
| ------------------------------------------------- | ---------------------------------- |
564
+
| A survey of this region was made in 1900. | This region was surveyed in 1900. |
565
+
| Mobilization of the army was rapidly effected. | The army was rapidly mobilized. |
566
+
| Confirmation of these reports cannot be obtained. | These reports cannot be confirmed. |
567
+
568
+
Compare the _sentence,_ “The export of gold was prohibited,” in which the
569
+
predicate “was prohibited” expresses something not implied in “export.”
570
+
571
+
The habitual use of the active voice makes for forcible writing. This is true
572
+
not only in narrative principally concerned with action, but in writing of any
573
+
kind. Many a tame sentence of description or exposition can be made lively and
574
+
emphatic by substituting a verb in the active voice for some such perfunctory
575
+
expression as _there is_, or _could be heard_.
576
+
577
+
| Original | Revision |
578
+
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------- | ------------------------------------------------ |
579
+
| There were a great number of dead leaves lying on the ground. | Dead leaves covered the ground. |
580
+
| The sound of a guitar somewhere in the house could be heard. | Somewhere in the house a guitar hummed sleepily. |
581
+
| The reason that he left college was that his health became impaired. | Failing health compelled him to leave college. |
582
+
| It was not long before he was very sorry that he had said what he had. | He soon repented his words. |
583
+
584
+
### Rule 11. Put statements in positive form.
585
+
586
+
Make definite assertions. Avoid tame, colorless, hesitating, non-committal
587
+
language. Use the word _not_ as a means of denial or in antithesis, never as a
588
+
means of evasion.
589
+
590
+
| Original | Revision |
591
+
| -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
592
+
| He was not very often on time. | He usually came late. |
593
+
| He did not think that studying Latin was much use. | He thought the study of Latin useless. |
594
+
| The Taming of the Shrew is rather weak in spots. Shakespeare does not portray Katharine as a very admirable character, nor does Bianca remain long in memory as an important character in Shakespeare's works. | The women in The Taming of the Shrew are unattractive. Katharine is disagreeable, Bianca insignificant. |
595
+
596
+
The last example, before correction, is indefinite as well as negative. The
597
+
corrected version, consequently, is simply a guess at the writer's intention.
598
+
599
+
All three examples show the weakness inherent in the word _not_. Consciously or
600
+
unconsciously, the reader is dissatisfied with being told only what is not; he
601
+
wishes to be told what is. Hence, as a rule, it is better to express even a
602
+
negative in positive form.
603
+
604
+
| Original | Revision |
605
+
| ------------------------------- | ---------- |
606
+
| not honest | dishonest |
607
+
| not important | trifling |
608
+
| did not remember | forgot |
609
+
| did not pay any attention to | ignored |
610
+
| did not have much confidence in | distrusted |
611
+
612
+
The antithesis of negative and positive is strong:
613
+
614
+
Not charity, but simple justice.
615
+
616
+
Not that I loved Caesar less, but Rome the more.
617
+
618
+
Negative words other than _not_ are usually strong:
619
+
620
+
The sun never sets upon the British flag.
621
+
622
+
### Rule 12. Use definite, specific, concrete language.
623
+
624
+
Prefer the specific to the general, the definite to the vague, the concrete to
625
+
the abstract.
626
+
627
+
| Original | Revision |
628
+
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ | ------------------------------------------------------------------ |
629
+
| A period of unfavorable weather set in. | It rained every day for a week. |
630
+
| He showed satisfaction as he took possession of his well-earned reward. | He grinned as he pocketed the coin. |
631
+
| There is a general agreement among those who have enjoyed the experience that surf-riding is productive of great exhilaration. | All who have tried surf-riding agree that it is most exhilarating. |
632
+
633
+
If those who have studied the art of writing are in accord on any one point, it
634
+
is on this, that the surest method of arousing and holding the attention of the
635
+
reader is by being specific, definite, and concrete. Critics have pointed out
636
+
how much of the effectiveness of the greatest writers, Homer, Dante,
637
+
Shakespeare, results from their constant definiteness and concreteness.
638
+
Browning, to cite a more modern author, affords many striking examples. Take,
639
+
for instance, the lines from My Last Duchess,
640
+
641
+
Sir, 'twas all one! My favour at her breast,
642
+
643
+
The dropping of the daylight in the west,
644
+
645
+
The bough of cherries some officious fool
646
+
647
+
Broke in the orchard for her, the white mule
648
+
649
+
She rode with round the terrace—all and each
650
+
651
+
Would draw from her alike the approving speech,
652
+
653
+
Or blush, at least,
654
+
655
+
and those which end the poem,
656
+
657
+
Notice Neptune, though,
658
+
659
+
Taming a sea-horse, thought a rarity,
660
+
661
+
Which Claus of Innsbruck cast in bronze for me.
662
+
663
+
These words call up pictures. Recall how in The Bishop Orders his Tomb in St.
664
+
Praxed's Church “the Renaissance spirit—its worldliness, inconsistency, pride,
665
+
hypocrisy, ignorance of itself, love of art, of luxury, of good Latin,” to quote
666
+
Ruskin's comment on the poem, is made manifest in specific details and in
667
+
concrete terms.
668
+
669
+
Prose, in particular narrative and descriptive prose, is made vivid by the same
670
+
means. If the experiences of Jim Hawkins and of David Balfour, of Kim, of
671
+
Nostromo, have seemed for the moment real to countless readers, if in reading
672
+
Carlyle we have almost the sense of being physically present at the taking of
673
+
the Bastille, it is because of the definiteness of the details and the
674
+
concreteness of the terms used. It is not that every detail is given; that would
675
+
be impossible, as well as to no purpose; but that all the significant details
676
+
are given, and not vaguely, but with such definiteness that the reader, in
677
+
imagination, can project himself into the scene.
678
+
679
+
In exposition and in argument, the writer must likewise never lose his hold upon
680
+
the concrete, and even when he is dealing with general principles, he must give
681
+
particular instances of their application.
682
+
683
+
“This superiority of specific expressions is clearly due to the effort required
684
+
to translate words into thoughts. As we do not think in generals, but in
685
+
particulars—as whenever any class of things is referred to, we represent it to
686
+
ourselves by calling to mind individual members of it, it follows that when an
687
+
abstract word is used, the hearer or reader has to choose, from his stock of
688
+
images, one or more by which he may figure to himself the genus mentioned. In
689
+
doing this, some delay must arise, some force be expended; and if by employing a
690
+
specific term an appropriate image can be at once suggested, an economy is
691
+
achieved, and a more vivid impression produced.”
692
+
693
+
Herbert Spencer, from whose Philosophy of Style the preceding paragraph is
694
+
quoted, illustrates the principle by the sentences:
695
+
696
+
| Original | Revision |
697
+
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ |
698
+
| In proportion as the manners, customs, and amusements of a nation are cruel and barbarous, the regulations of their penal code will be severe. | In proportion as men delight in battles, bull-fights, and combats of gladiators, will they punish by hanging, burning, and the rack. |
699
+
700
+
### Rule 13. Omit needless words.
701
+
702
+
Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a
703
+
paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should
704
+
have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. This requires not
705
+
that the writer make all his sentences short, or that he avoid all detail and
706
+
treat his subjects only in outline, but that he make every word tell.
707
+
708
+
Many expressions in common use violate this principle:
709
+
710
+
| Original | Revision |
711
+
| --------------------------- | ------------------------------ |
712
+
| the question as to whether | whether (the question whether) |
713
+
| there is no doubt but that | no doubt (doubtless) |
714
+
| used for fuel purposes | used for fuel |
715
+
| he is a man who | he |
716
+
| in a hasty manner | hastily |
717
+
| this is a subject which | this subject |
718
+
| His story is a strange one. | His story is strange. |
719
+
720
+
In especial the expression _the fact that_ should be revised out of every
721
+
sentence in which it occurs.
722
+
723
+
| Original | Revision |
724
+
| ------------------------------------ | --------------------------------- |
725
+
| owing to the fact that | since (because) |
726
+
| in spite of the fact that | though (although) |
727
+
| call your attention to the fact that | remind you (notify you) |
728
+
| I was unaware of the fact that | I was unaware that (did not know) |
729
+
| the fact that he had not succeeded | his failure |
730
+
| the fact that I had arrived | my arrival |
731
+
732
+
See also under _case_, _character_, _nature_, _system_ in Chapter V.
733
+
734
+
_Who is_, _which was_, and the like are often superfluous.
735
+
736
+
| Original | Revision |
737
+
| --------------------------------------------- | -------------------------------------- |
738
+
| His brother, who is a member of the same firm | His brother, a member of the same firm |
739
+
| Trafalgar, which was Nelson's last battle | Trafalgar, Nelson's last battle |
740
+
741
+
As positive statement is more concise than negative, and the active voice more
742
+
concise than the passive, many of the examples given under Rules 11 and 12
743
+
illustrate this rule as well.
744
+
745
+
A common violation of conciseness is the presentation of a single complex idea,
746
+
step by step, in a series of sentences or independent clauses which might to
747
+
advantage be combined into one.
748
+
749
+
| Original | Revision |
750
+
| -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
751
+
| Macbeth was very ambitious. This led him to wish to become king of Scotland. The witches told him that this wish of his would come true. The king of Scotland at this time was Duncan. Encouraged by his wife, Macbeth murdered Duncan. He was thus enabled to succeed Duncan as king. (51 words.) | Encouraged by his wife, Macbeth achieved his ambition and realized the prediction of the witches by murdering Duncan and becoming king of Scotland in his place. (26 words.) |
752
+
| There were several less important courses, but these were the most important, and although they did not come every day, they came often enough to keep you in such a state of mind that you never knew what your next move would be. (43 words.) | These, the most important courses of all, came, if not daily, at least often enough to keep one under constant strain. (21 words.) |
753
+
754
+
### Rule 14. Avoid a succession of loose sentences
755
+
756
+
This rule refers especially to loose sentences of a particular type, those
757
+
consisting of two co-ordinate clauses, the second introduced by a conjunction or
758
+
relative. Although single sentences of this type may be unexceptionable (see
759
+
under Rule 4), a series soon becomes monotonous and tedious.
760
+
761
+
An unskilful writer will sometimes construct a whole paragraph of sentences of
762
+
this kind, using as connectives _and_, _but_, _so_, and less frequently, _who_,
763
+
_which_, _when_, _where_, and _while_, these last in non-restrictive senses (see
764
+
under Rule 3).
765
+
766
+
The third concert of the subscription series was given last evening, and a large
767
+
audience was in attendance. Mr. Edward Appleton was the soloist, and the Boston
768
+
Symphony Orchestra furnished the instrumental music. The former showed himself
769
+
to be an artist of the first rank, while the latter proved itself fully
770
+
deserving of its high reputation. The interest aroused by the series has been
771
+
very gratifying to the Committee, and it is planned to give a similar series
772
+
annually hereafter. The fourth concert will be given on Tuesday, May 10, when an
773
+
equally attractive programme will be presented.
774
+
775
+
Apart from its triteness and emptiness, the paragraph above is weak because of
776
+
the structure of its sentences, with their mechanical symmetry and sing-song.
777
+
Contrast with them the sentences in the paragraphs quoted under Rule 9, or in
778
+
any piece of good English prose, as the preface (Before the Curtain) to Vanity
779
+
Fair.
780
+
781
+
If the writer finds that he has written a series of sentences of the type
782
+
described, he should recast enough of them to remove the monotony, replacing
783
+
them by simple sentences, by sentences of two clauses joined by a semicolon, by
784
+
periodic sentences of two clauses, by sentences, loose or periodic, of three
785
+
clauses—whichever best represent the real relations of the thought.
786
+
787
+
### Rule 15. Express co-ordinate ideas in similar form.
788
+
789
+
This principle, that of parallel construction, requires that expressions of
790
+
similar content and function should be outwardly similar. The likeness of form
791
+
enables the reader to recognize more readily the likeness of content and
792
+
function. Familiar instances from the Bible are the Ten Commandments, the
793
+
Beatitudes, and the petitions of the Lord's Prayer.
794
+
795
+
The unskillful writer often violates this principle, from a mistaken belief that
796
+
he should constantly vary the form of his expressions. It is true that in
797
+
repeating a statement in order to emphasize it he may have need to vary its
798
+
form. For illustration, see the paragraph from Stevenson quoted under Rule _9_.
799
+
But apart from this, he should follow the principle of parallel construction.
800
+
801
+
| Original | Revision |
802
+
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
803
+
| Formerly, science was taught by the textbook method, while now the laboratory method is employed. | Formerly, science was taught by the textbook method; now it is taught by the laboratory method. |
804
+
805
+
The left-hand version gives the impression that the writer is undecided or
806
+
timid; he seems unable or afraid to choose one form of expression and hold to
807
+
it. The right-hand version shows that the writer has at least made his choice
808
+
and abided by it.
809
+
810
+
By this principle, an article or a preposition applying to all the members of a
811
+
series must either be used only before the first term or else be repeated before
812
+
each term.
813
+
814
+
| Original | Revision |
815
+
| ------------------------------------------------- | ----------------------------------------------------------------- |
816
+
| The French, the Italians, Spanish, and Portuguese | The French, the Italians, the Spanish, and the Portuguese |
817
+
| In spring, summer, or in winter | In spring, summer, or winter (In spring, in summer, or in winter) |
818
+
819
+
Correlative expressions (_both, and_; _not, but_; _not only, but also_; _either,
820
+
or_; _first, second, third_; and the like) should be followed by the same
821
+
grammatical construction, that is, virtually, by the same part of speech. (Such
822
+
combinations as “both Henry and I,” “not silk, but a cheap substitute,” are
823
+
obviously within the rule.) Many violations of this rule (as the first three
824
+
below) arise from faulty arrangement; others (as the last) from the use of
825
+
unlike constructions.
826
+
827
+
| Original | Revision |
828
+
| -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ |
829
+
| It was both a long ceremony and very tedious. | The ceremony was both long and tedious. |
830
+
| A time not for words, but action. | A time not for words, but for action. |
831
+
| Either you must grant his request or incur his ill will. | You must either grant his request or incur his ill will. |
832
+
| My objections are, first, the injustice of the measure; second, that it is unconstitutional. | My objections are, first, that the measure is unjust; second, that it is unconstitutional. |
833
+
834
+
See also the third example under Rule 12 and the last under Rule 13.
835
+
836
+
It may be asked, what if a writer needs to express a very large number of
837
+
similar ideas, say twenty? Must he write twenty consecutive sentences of the
838
+
same pattern? On closer examination he will probably find that the difficulty is
839
+
imaginary, that his twenty ideas can be classified in groups, and that he need
840
+
apply the principle only within each group. Otherwise he had best avoid
841
+
difficulty by putting his statements in the form of a table.
842
+
843
+
### Rule 16. Keep related words together.
844
+
845
+
The position of the words in a sentence is the principal means of showing their
846
+
relationship. The writer must therefore, so far as possible, bring together the
847
+
words, and groups of words, that are related in thought, and keep apart those
848
+
which are not so related.
849
+
850
+
The subject of a sentence and the principal verb should not, as a rule, be
851
+
separated by a phrase or clause that can be transferred to the beginning.
852
+
853
+
| Original | Revision |
854
+
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
855
+
| Wordsworth, in the fifth book of The Excursion, gives a minute description of this church. | In the fifth book of The Excursion, Wordsworth gives a minute description of this church. |
856
+
| Cast iron, when treated in a Bessemer converter, is changed into steel. | By treatment in a Bessemer converter, cast iron is changed into steel. |
857
+
858
+
The objection is that the interposed phrase or clause needlessly interrupts the
859
+
natural order of the main clause. Usually, however, this objection does not hold
860
+
when the order is interrupted only by a relative clause or by an expression in
861
+
apposition. Nor does it hold in periodic sentences in which the interruption is
862
+
a deliberately used means of creating suspense (see examples under Rule 18).
863
+
864
+
The relative pronoun should come, as a rule, immediately after its antecedent.
865
+
866
+
| Original | Revision |
867
+
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
868
+
| There was a look in his eye that boded mischief. | In his eye was a look that boded mischief. |
869
+
| He wrote three articles about his adventures in Spain, which were published in Harper's Magazine. | He published in Harper's Magazine three articles about his adventures in Spain. |
870
+
| This is a portrait of Benjamin Harrison, grandson of William Henry Harrison, who became President in 1889. | This is a portrait of Benjamin Harrison, grandson of William Henry Harrison. He became President in 1889. |
871
+
872
+
If the antecedent consists of a group of words, the relative comes at the end of
873
+
the group, unless this would cause ambiguity.
874
+
875
+
The Superintendent of the Chicago Division, who
876
+
877
+
| Original | Revision |
878
+
| --------------------------------------------------------------------- | ---------------------------------------------------------------------- |
879
+
| A proposal to amend the Sherman Act, which has been variously judged. | A proposal, which has been variously judged, to amend the Sherman Act. |
880
+
| — | A proposal to amend the much-debated Sherman Act. |
881
+
| The grandson of William Henry Harrison, who | William Henry Harrison's grandson, who |
882
+
883
+
A noun in apposition may come between antecedent and relative, because in such a
884
+
combination no real ambiguity can arise.
885
+
886
+
The Duke of York, his brother, who was regarded with hostility by the Whigs
887
+
888
+
Modifiers should come, if possible, next to the word they modify. If several
889
+
expressions modify the same word, they should be so arranged that no wrong
890
+
relation is suggested.
891
+
892
+
| Original | Revision |
893
+
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
894
+
| All the members were not present. | Not all the members were present. |
895
+
| He only found two mistakes. | He found only two mistakes. |
896
+
| Major R. E. Joyce will give a lecture on Tuesday evening in Bailey Hall, to which the public is invited, on “My Experiences in Mesopotamia” at eight P. M. | On Tuesday evening at eight P. M., Major R. E. Joyce will give in Bailey Hall a lecture on “My Experiences in Mesopotamia.” The public is invited. |
897
+
898
+
### Rule 17. In summaries, keep to one tense.
899
+
900
+
In summarizing the action of a drama, the writer should always use the present
901
+
tense. In summarizing a poem, story, or novel, he should preferably use the
902
+
present, though he may use the past if he prefers. If the summary is in the
903
+
present tense, antecedent action should be expressed by the perfect; if in the
904
+
past, by the past perfect.
905
+
906
+
An unforeseen chance prevents Friar John from delivering Friar Lawrence's letter
907
+
to Romeo. Meanwhile, owing to her father's arbitrary change of the day set for
908
+
her wedding, Juliet has been compelled to drink the potion on Tuesday night,
909
+
with the result that Balthasar informs Romeo of her supposed death before Friar
910
+
Lawrence learns of the non-delivery of the letter.
911
+
912
+
But whichever tense be used in the summary, a past tense in indirect discourse
913
+
or in indirect question remains unchanged.
914
+
915
+
The Friar confesses that it was he who married them.
916
+
917
+
Apart from the exceptions noted, whichever tense the writer chooses, he should
918
+
use throughout. Shifting from one tense to the other gives the appearance of
919
+
uncertainty and irresolution (compare Rule 15).
920
+
921
+
In presenting the statements or the thought of some one else, as in summarizing
922
+
an essay or reporting a speech, the writer should avoid intercalating such
923
+
expressions as “he said,” “he stated,” “the speaker added,” “the speaker then
924
+
went on to say,” “the author also thinks,” or the like. He should indicate
925
+
clearly at the outset, once for all, that what follows is summary, and then
926
+
waste no words in repeating the notification.
927
+
928
+
In notebooks, in newspapers, in handbooks of literature, summaries of one kind
929
+
or another may be indispensable, and for children in primary schools it is a
930
+
useful exercise to retell a story in their own words. But in the criticism or
931
+
interpretation of literature the writer should be careful to avoid dropping into
932
+
summary. He may find it necessary to devote one or two sentences to indicating
933
+
the subject, or the opening situation, of the work he is discussing; he may cite
934
+
numerous details to illustrate its qualities. But he should aim to write an
935
+
orderly discussion supported by evidence, not a summary with occasional comment.
936
+
Similarly, if the scope of his discussion includes a number of works, he will as
937
+
a rule do better not to take them up singly in chronological order, but to aim
938
+
from the beginning at establishing general conclusions.
939
+
940
+
### Rule 18. Place the emphatic words of a sentence at the end.
941
+
942
+
The proper place in the sentence for the word, or group of words, which the
943
+
writer desires to make most prominent is usually the end.
944
+
945
+
| Original | Revision |
946
+
| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
947
+
| Humanity has hardly advanced in fortitude since that time, though it has advanced in many other ways. | Humanity, since that time, has advanced in many other ways, but it has hardly advanced in fortitude. |
948
+
| This steel is principally used for making razors, because of its hardness. | Because of its hardness, this steel is principally used in making razors. |
949
+
950
+
The word or group of words entitled to this position of prominence is usually
951
+
the logical predicate, that is, the _new_ element in the sentence, as it is in
952
+
the second example.
953
+
954
+
The effectiveness of the periodic sentence arises from the prominence which it
955
+
gives to the main statement.
956
+
957
+
Four centuries ago, Christopher Columbus, one of the Italian mariners whom the
958
+
decline of their own republics had put at the service of the world and of
959
+
adventure, seeking for Spain a westward passage to the Indies as a set-off
960
+
against the achievements of Portuguese discoverers, lighted on America.
961
+
962
+
With these hopes and in this belief I would urge you, laying aside all
963
+
hindrance, thrusting away all private aims, to devote yourself unswervingly and
964
+
unflinchingly to the vigorous and successful prosecution of this war.
965
+
966
+
The other prominent position in the sentence is the beginning. Any element in
967
+
the sentence, other than the subject, may become emphatic when placed first.
968
+
969
+
Deceit or treachery he could never forgive.
970
+
971
+
So vast and rude, fretted by the action of nearly three thousand years, the
972
+
fragments of this architecture may often seem, at first sight, like works of
973
+
nature.
974
+
975
+
A subject coming first in its sentence may be emphatic, but hardly by its
976
+
position alone. In the sentence,
977
+
978
+
Great kings worshipped at his shrine,
979
+
980
+
the emphasis upon _kings_ arises largely from its meaning and from the context.
981
+
To receive special emphasis, the subject of a sentence must take the position of
982
+
the predicate.
983
+
984
+
Through the middle of the valley flowed a winding stream.
985
+
986
+
The principle that the proper place for what is to be made most prominent is the
987
+
end applies equally to the words of a sentence, to the sentences of a paragraph,
988
+
and to the paragraphs of a composition.
989
+
990
+
## V. Words And Expressions Commonly Misused
991
+
992
+
(Some of the forms here listed, as _like I did_, are downright bad English;
993
+
others, as the split infinitive, have their defenders, but are in such general
994
+
disfavor that it is at least inadvisable to use them; still others, as _case_,
995
+
_factor_, _feature_, _interesting_, _one of the most_, are good in their place,
996
+
but are constantly obtruding themselves into places where they have no right to
997
+
be. If the writer will make it his purpose from the beginning to express
998
+
accurately his own individual thought, and will refuse to be satisfied with a
999
+
ready-made formula that saves him the trouble of doing so, this last set of
1000
+
expressions will cause him little trouble. But if he finds that in a moment of
1001
+
inadvertence he has used one of them, his proper course will probably be not to
1002
+
patch up the sentence by substituting one word or set of words for another, but
1003
+
to recast it completely, as illustrated in a number of examples below and in
1004
+
others under Rules 12 and 13.)
1005
+
1006
+
**All right.** Idiomatic in familiar speech as a detached phrase in the sense,
1007
+
“Agreed,” or “Go ahead.” In other uses better avoided. Always written as two
1008
+
words.
1009
+
1010
+
**As good or better than.** Expressions of this type should be corrected by
1011
+
rearranging the sentence.
1012
+
1013
+
| Original | Revision |
1014
+
| ----------------------------------------- | -------------------------------------------------------- |
1015
+
| My opinion is as good or better than his. | My opinion is as good as his, or better (if not better). |
1016
+
1017
+
**As to whether.** _Whether_ is sufficient; see under Rule 13.
1018
+
1019
+
**Bid.** Takes the infinitive without _to_. The past tense in the sense,
1020
+
_“ordered,”_ is _bade_.
1021
+
1022
+
**But.** Unnecessary after _doubt_ and _help_.
1023
+
1024
+
| Original | Revision |
1025
+
| ------------------------------ | ----------------------------- |
1026
+
| I have no doubt but that | I have no doubt that |
1027
+
| He could not help see but that | He could not help seeing that |
1028
+
1029
+
The too frequent use of _but_ as a conjunction leads to the fault discussed
1030
+
under Rule 14. A loose sentence formed with _but_ can always be converted into a
1031
+
periodic sentence formed with _although_, as illustrated under Rule 4.
1032
+
1033
+
Particularly awkward is the following of one _but_ by another, making a contrast
1034
+
to a contrast or a reservation to a reservation. This is easily corrected by
1035
+
re-arrangement.
1036
+
1037
+
| Original | Revision |
1038
+
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
1039
+
| America had vast resources, but she seemed almost wholly unprepared for war. But within a year she had created an army of four million men. | America seemed almost wholly unprepared for war, but she had vast resources. Within a year she had created an army of four million men. |
1040
+
1041
+
**Can.** Means _am (is, are) able_. Not to be used as a substitute for _may_.
1042
+
1043
+
**Case.** The Concise Oxford Dictionary begins its definition of this word:
1044
+
“instance of a thing's occurring; usual state of affairs.” In these two senses,
1045
+
the word is usually unnecessary.
1046
+
1047
+
| Original | Revision |
1048
+
| ----------------------------------------------------------- | ----------------------------------------- |
1049
+
| In many cases, the rooms were poorly ventilated. | Many of the rooms were poorly ventilated. |
1050
+
| It has rarely been the case that any mistake has been made. | Few mistakes have been made. |
1051
+
1052
+
See Wood, Suggestions to Authors, pp. 68–71, and Quiller-Couch, The Art of
1053
+
Writing, pp. 103–106.
1054
+
1055
+
**Certainly.** Used indiscriminately by some writers, much as others use _very_,
1056
+
to intensify any and every statement. A mannerism of this kind, bad in speech,
1057
+
is even worse in writing.
1058
+
1059
+
**Character.** Often simply redundant, used from a mere habit of wordiness.
1060
+
1061
+
| Original | Revision |
1062
+
| --------------------------- | ------------ |
1063
+
| Acts of a hostile character | Hostile acts |
1064
+
1065
+
**Claim, vb.** With object-noun, means _lay claim to_. May be used with a
1066
+
dependent clause if this sense is clearly involved: “He claimed that he was the
1067
+
sole surviving heir.” (But even here, “claimed to be” would be better.) Not to
1068
+
be used as a substitute for _declare_, _maintain_, or _charge_.
1069
+
1070
+
**Clever.** This word has been greatly overused; it is best restricted to
1071
+
ingenuity displayed in small matters.
1072
+
1073
+
**Compare.** To _compare to_ is to point out or imply resemblances, between
1074
+
objects regarded as essentially of different order; to _compare with_ is mainly
1075
+
to point out differences, between objects regarded as essentially of the same
1076
+
order. Thus life has been compared to a pilgrimage, to a drama, to a battle;
1077
+
Congress may be compared with the British Parliament. Paris has been compared to
1078
+
ancient Athens; it may be compared with modern London.
1079
+
1080
+
**Consider.** Not followed by _as_ when it means “believe to be.” “I consider
1081
+
him thoroughly competent.” Compare, “The lecturer considered Cromwell first as
1082
+
soldier and second as administrator,” where “considered” means “examined” or
1083
+
“discussed.”
1084
+
1085
+
**Data.** A plural, like _phenomena_ and _strata_.
1086
+
1087
+
These data were tabulated.
1088
+
1089
+
**Dependable.** A needless substitute for _reliable_, _trustworthy_.
1090
+
1091
+
**Different than.** Not permissible. Substitute _different from_, _other than_,
1092
+
or _unlike_.
1093
+
1094
+
**Divided into.** Not to be misused for _composed of_. The line is sometimes
1095
+
difficult to draw; doubtless plays are divided into acts, but poems are composed
1096
+
of stanzas.
1097
+
1098
+
**Don't.** Contraction of _do not_. The contraction of _does not_ is _doesn't_.
1099
+
1100
+
**Due to.** Incorrectly used for _through_, _because of_, or _owing to_, in
1101
+
adverbial phrases: “He lost the first game, due to carelessness.” In correct use
1102
+
related as predicate or as modifier to a particular noun: “This invention is due
1103
+
to Edison;” “losses due to preventable fires.”
1104
+
1105
+
**Folk.** A collective noun, equivalent to _people_. Use the singular form only.
1106
+
1107
+
**Effect.** As noun, means _result_; as verb, means _*to* bring about_,
1108
+
_accomplish_ (not to be confused with _affect_, which means “to influence”).
1109
+
1110
+
As noun, often loosely used in perfunctory writing about fashions, music,
1111
+
painting, and other arts: “an Oriental effect;” “effects in pale green;” “very
1112
+
delicate effects;” “broad effects;” “subtle effects;” “a charming effect was
1113
+
produced by.” The writer who has a definite meaning to express will not take
1114
+
refuge in such vagueness.
1115
+
1116
+
**Etc.** Equivalent to _and the rest_, _and so forth_, and hence not to be used
1117
+
if one of these would be insufficient, that is, if the reader would be left in
1118
+
doubt as to any important particulars. Least open to objection when it
1119
+
represents the last terms of a list already given in full, or immaterial words
1120
+
at the end of a quotation.
1121
+
1122
+
At the end of a list introduced by _such as_, _for example_, or any similar
1123
+
expression, _etc._ is incorrect.
1124
+
1125
+
**Fact.** Use this word only of matters of a kind capable of direct
1126
+
verification, not of matters of judgment. That a particular event happened on a
1127
+
given date, that lead melts at a certain temperature, are facts. But such
1128
+
conclusions as that Napoleon was the greatest of modern generals, or that the
1129
+
climate of California is delightful, however incontestable they _may be_, are
1130
+
not properly facts.
1131
+
1132
+
On the formula _the fact that_, see under Rule 13.
1133
+
1134
+
**Factor.** A hackneyed word; the expressions of which it forms part can usually
1135
+
be replaced by something more direct and idiomatic.
1136
+
1137
+
| Original | Revision |
1138
+
| -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ------------------------------------------------------------------------ |
1139
+
| His superior training was the great factor in his winning the match. | He won the match by being better trained. |
1140
+
| Heavy artillery has become an increasingly important factor in deciding battles. | Heavy artillery has played a constantly larger part in deciding battles. |
1141
+
1142
+
**Feature.** Another hackneyed word; like _factor_ it usually adds nothing to
1143
+
the sentence in which it occurs.
1144
+
1145
+
| Original | Revision |
1146
+
| -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
1147
+
| A feature of the entertainment especially worthy of mention was the singing of Miss A. | (Better use the same number of words to tell what Miss A. sang, or if the programme has already been given, to tell how she sang.) |
1148
+
1149
+
As a verb, in the advertising sense of _offer as a special attraction_, to be
1150
+
avoided.
1151
+
1152
+
**Fix.** Colloquial in America for _arrange_, _prepare_, _mend_. In writing
1153
+
restrict it to its literary senses, _fasten_, _make firm or immovable_, etc.
1154
+
1155
+
**Get.** The colloquial _have got_ for _have_ should not be used in writing. The
1156
+
preferable form of the participle is _got_.
1157
+
1158
+
**He is a man who.** A common type of redundant expression; see Rule 13.
1159
+
1160
+
| Original | Revision |
1161
+
| ------------------------------------------------------- | ------------------------------------ |
1162
+
| He is a man who is very ambitious. | He is very ambitious. |
1163
+
| Spain is a country which I have always wanted to visit. | I have always wanted to visit Spain. |
1164
+
1165
+
**Help.** See under **But**.
1166
+
1167
+
**However.** In the meaning _nevertheless_, not to come first in its sentence or
1168
+
clause.
1169
+
1170
+
| Original | Revision |
1171
+
| --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
1172
+
| The roads were almost impassable. However, we at last succeeded in reaching camp. | The roads were almost impassable. At last, however, we succeeded in reaching camp. |
1173
+
1174
+
When _however_ comes first, it means _in whatever way_ or _to whatever extent_.
1175
+
1176
+
However you advise him, he will probably do as he thinks best.
1177
+
1178
+
However discouraging the prospect, he never lost heart.
1179
+
1180
+
**Interesting.** Avoid this word as a perfunctory means of introduction. Instead
1181
+
of announcing that what you are about to tell is interesting, make it so.
1182
+
1183
+
| Original | Revision |
1184
+
| -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | -------------------------------------------------- |
1185
+
| An interesting story is told of | (Tell the story without preamble.) |
1186
+
| In connection with the anticipated visit of Mr. B. to America, it is interesting to recall that he | Mr. B., who it is expected will soon visit America |
1187
+
1188
+
**Kind of.** Not to be used as a substitute for _rather_ (before adjectives and
1189
+
verbs), or except in familiar style, for _something like_ (before nouns).
1190
+
Restrict it to its literal sense: “Amber is a kind of fossil resin;” “I dislike
1191
+
that kind of notoriety.” The same holds true of _sort of_.
1192
+
1193
+
**Less.** Should not be misused for _fewer_.
1194
+
1195
+
| Original | Revision |
1196
+
| --------------------------------------------- | ---------------------------------------------- |
1197
+
| He had less men than in the previous campaign | He had fewer men than in the previous campaign |
1198
+
1199
+
_Less_ refers to quantity, _fewer_ to number. “His troubles are less than mine”
1200
+
means “His troubles are not so great as mine.” “His troubles are fewer than
1201
+
mine” means “His troubles are not so numerous as mine.” It is, however, correct
1202
+
to say, “The signers of the petition were less than a hundred,” where the round
1203
+
number _a hundred_ is something like a collective noun, and _less_ is thought of
1204
+
as meaning a less quantity or amount.
1205
+
1206
+
**Like.** Not to be misused for _as_. _Like_ governs nouns and pronouns; before
1207
+
phrases and clauses the equivalent word is _as_.
1208
+
1209
+
| Original | Revision |
1210
+
| ------------------------------------------ | ---------------------------------------- |
1211
+
| We spent the evening like in the old days. | We spent the evening as in the old days. |
1212
+
| He thought like I did. | He thought as I did (like me). |
1213
+
1214
+
**Line, along these lines.** _Line_ in the sense of _course of procedure_,
1215
+
_conduct_, _thought_, is allowable, but has been so much overworked,
1216
+
particularly in the phrase _along these lines_, that a writer who aims at
1217
+
freshness or originality had better discard it entirely.
1218
+
1219
+
| Original | Revision |
1220
+
| --------------------------------------------------- | -------------------------------------- |
1221
+
| Mr. B. also spoke along the same lines. | Mr. B. also spoke, to the same effect. |
1222
+
| He is studying along the line of French literature. | He is studying French literature. |
1223
+
1224
+
**Literal, literally.** Often incorrectly used in support of exaggeration or
1225
+
violent metaphor.
1226
+
1227
+
| Original | Revision |
1228
+
| --------------------------- | ------------------------------------- |
1229
+
| A literal flood of abuse. | A flood of abuse. |
1230
+
| Literally dead with fatigue | Almost dead with fatigue (dead tired) |
1231
+
1232
+
**Lose out.** Meant to be more emphatic than _lose_, but actually less so,
1233
+
because of its commonness. The same holds true of _try out_, _win out_, _sign
1234
+
up_, _register up_. With a number of verbs, _out_ and _up_ form idiomatic
1235
+
combinations: _find out_, _run out_, _turn out_, _cheer up_, _dry up_, _make
1236
+
up_, and others, each distinguishable in meaning from the simple verb. _Lose
1237
+
out_ is not.
1238
+
1239
+
**Most.** Not to be used for _almost_.
1240
+
1241
+
| Original | Revision |
1242
+
| ----------------- | ------------------- |
1243
+
| Most everybody | Almost everybody |
1244
+
| Most all the time | Almost all the time |
1245
+
1246
+
**Nature.** Often simply redundant, used like _character_.
1247
+
1248
+
| Original | Revision |
1249
+
| -------------------------- | ------------ |
1250
+
| Acts of a hostile _nature_ | Hostile acts |
1251
+
1252
+
Often vaguely used in such expressions as a “lover of nature;” “poems about
1253
+
nature.” Unless more specific statements follow, the reader cannot tell whether
1254
+
the poems have to do with natural scenery, rural life, the sunset, the untracked
1255
+
wilderness, or the habits of squirrels.
1256
+
1257
+
**Near by.** Adverbial phrase, not yet fully accepted as good English, though
1258
+
the analogy of _close by_ and _hard by_ seems to justify it. _Near_, or _near at
1259
+
hand_, is as good, if not better.
1260
+
1261
+
Not to be used as an adjective; use _neighboring_.
1262
+
1263
+
**Oftentimes, ofttimes.** Archaic forms, no longer in good use. The modern word
1264
+
is _often_.
1265
+
1266
+
**One hundred and one.** Retain the _and_ in this and similar expressions, in
1267
+
accordance with the unvarying usage of English prose from Old English times.
1268
+
1269
+
**One of the most.** Avoid beginning essays or paragraphs with this formula, as,
1270
+
“One of the most interesting developments of modern science is, etc.;”
1271
+
“Switzerland is one of the most interesting countries of Europe.” There is
1272
+
nothing wrong in this; it is simply threadbare and forcible-feeble.
1273
+
1274
+
A common blunder is to use a singular verb in a relative clause following this
1275
+
or a similar expression, when the relative is the subject.
1276
+
1277
+
| Original | Revision |
1278
+
| ----------------------------------------------------- | ------------------------------------------------------ |
1279
+
| One of the ablest men that has attacked this problem. | One of the ablest men that have attacked this problem. |
1280
+
1281
+
**Participle for verbal noun.**
1282
+
1283
+
| Original | Revision |
1284
+
| ----------------------------------------------------------------------- | ------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
1285
+
| Do you mind me asking a question? | Do you mind my asking a question? |
1286
+
| There was little prospect of the Senate accepting even this compromise. | There was little prospect of the Senate's accepting even this compromise. |
1287
+
1288
+
In the left-hand column, _asking_ and _accepting_ are present participles; in
1289
+
the right-hand column, they are verbal nouns (gerunds). The construction shown
1290
+
in the left-hand column is occasionally found, and has its defenders. Yet it is
1291
+
easy to see that the second sentence has to do not with a prospect of the
1292
+
Senate, but with a prospect of accepting. In this example, at least, the
1293
+
construction is plainly illogical.
1294
+
1295
+
As the authors of The King's English point out, there are sentences apparently,
1296
+
but not really, of this type, in which the possessive is not called for.
1297
+
1298
+
I cannot imagine Lincoln refusing his assent to this measure.
1299
+
1300
+
In this sentence, what the writer cannot imagine is Lincoln himself, in the act
1301
+
of refusing his assent. Yet the meaning would be virtually the same, except for
1302
+
a slight loss of vividness, if he had written,
1303
+
1304
+
I cannot imagine Lincoln's refusing his assent to this measure.
1305
+
1306
+
By using the possessive, the writer will always be on the safe side.
1307
+
1308
+
In the examples above, the subject of the action is a single, unmodified term,
1309
+
immediately preceding the verbal noun, and the construction is as good as any
1310
+
that could be used. But in any sentence in which it is a mere clumsy substitute
1311
+
for something simpler, or in which the use of the possessive is awkward or
1312
+
impossible, should of course be recast.
1313
+
1314
+
| Original | Revision |
1315
+
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
1316
+
| In the event of a reconsideration of the whole matter's becoming necessary | If it should become necessary to reconsider the whole matter |
1317
+
| There was great dissatisfaction with the decision of the arbitrators being favorable to the company. | There was great dissatisfaction that the arbitrators should have decided in favor of the company. |
1318
+
1319
+
**People.** _The people_ is a political term, not to be confused with _the
1320
+
public_. From the people comes political support or opposition; from the public
1321
+
comes artistic appreciation or commercial patronage.
1322
+
1323
+
**Phase.** Means a stage of transition or development: “the phases of the moon;”
1324
+
“the last phase.” Not to be used for _aspect_ or _topic_.
1325
+
1326
+
| Original | Revision |
1327
+
| ---------------------------- | -------------------------------- |
1328
+
| Another phase of the subject | Another point (another question) |
1329
+
1330
+
**Possess.** Not to be used as a mere substitute for _have_ or _own_.
1331
+
1332
+
| Original | Revision |
1333
+
| --------------------------------- | -------------------------------------- |
1334
+
| He possessed great courage. | He had great courage (was very brave). |
1335
+
| He was the fortunate possessor of | He owned |
1336
+
1337
+
**Prove.** The past participle is _proved_.
1338
+
1339
+
**Respective, respectively.** These words may usually be omitted with advantage.
1340
+
1341
+
| Original | Revision |
1342
+
| --------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ----------------------------------------------------------------- |
1343
+
| Works of fiction are listed under the names of their respective authors. | Works of fiction are listed under the names of their authors. |
1344
+
| The one mile and two mile runs were won by Jones and Cummings respectively. | The one mile and two mile runs were won by Jones and by Cummings. |
1345
+
1346
+
In some kinds of formal writing, as geometrical proofs, it may be necessary to
1347
+
use _respectively_, but it should not appear in writing on ordinary subjects.
1348
+
1349
+
**Shall, Will.** The future tense requires _shall_ for the first person, _will_
1350
+
for the second and third. The formula to express the speaker's belief regarding
1351
+
his future action or state is _I shall_; _I will_ expresses his determination or
1352
+
his consent.
1353
+
1354
+
**Should.** See under **Would**.
1355
+
1356
+
**So.** Avoid, in writing, the use of _so_ as an intensifier: “so good;” “so
1357
+
warm;” “so delightful.”
1358
+
1359
+
On the use of _so_ to introduce clauses, see Rule 4.
1360
+
1361
+
**Sort of.** See under **Kind of**.
1362
+
1363
+
**Split Infinitive.** There is precedent from the fourteenth century downward
1364
+
for interposing an adverb between _to_ and the infinitive which it governs, but
1365
+
the construction is in disfavor and is avoided by nearly all careful writers.
1366
+
1367
+
| Original | Revision |
1368
+
| --------------------- | --------------------- |
1369
+
| To diligently inquire | To inquire diligently |
1370
+
1371
+
**State.** Not to be used as a mere substitute for _say_, _remark_. Restrict it
1372
+
to the sense of _express fully or clearly_, as, “He refused to state his
1373
+
objections.”
1374
+
1375
+
**Student Body.** A needless and awkward expression meaning no more than the
1376
+
simple word _students_.
1377
+
1378
+
| Original | Revision |
1379
+
| ------------------------------------ | -------------------------------- |
1380
+
| A member of the student body | A student |
1381
+
| Popular with the student body | Liked by the students |
1382
+
| The student body passed resolutions. | The students passed resolutions. |
1383
+
1384
+
**System.** Frequently used without need.
1385
+
1386
+
| Original | Revision |
1387
+
| --------------------------------------------------------- | -------------------------------------------- |
1388
+
| Dayton has adopted the commission system of _government._ | Dayton has adopted government by commission. |
1389
+
| The dormitory system | Dormitories |
1390
+
1391
+
**Thanking You in Advance.** This sounds as if the writer meant, “It will not be
1392
+
worth my while to write to you again.” In making your request, write, “Will you
1393
+
please,” or “I shall be obliged,” and if anything further seems necessary write
1394
+
a letter of acknowledgment later.
1395
+
1396
+
**They.** A common inaccuracy is the use of the plural pronoun when the
1397
+
antecedent is a distributive expression such as _each_, _each one_, _everybody_,
1398
+
_every one_, _many a man_, which, though implying more than one person, requires
1399
+
the pronoun to be in the singular. Similar to this, but with even less
1400
+
justification, is the use of the plural pronoun with the antecedent _anybody_,
1401
+
_any one_, _somebody_, _some one_, the intention being either to avoid the
1402
+
awkward “he or she,” or to avoid committing oneself to either. Some bashful
1403
+
speakers even say, “A friend of mine told me that they, etc.”
1404
+
1405
+
Use _he_ with all the above words, unless the antecedent is or must be feminine.
1406
+
1407
+
**Very.** Use this word sparingly. Where emphasis is necessary, use words strong
1408
+
in themselves.
1409
+
1410
+
**Viewpoint.** Write _point of view_, but do not misuse this, as many do, for
1411
+
_view_ or _opinion_.
1412
+
1413
+
**While.** Avoid the indiscriminate use of this word for _and_, _but_, and
1414
+
_although_. Many writers use it frequently as a substitute for _and_ or _but_,
1415
+
either from a mere desire to vary the connective, or from uncertainty which of
1416
+
the two connectives is the more appropriate. In this use it is best replaced by
1417
+
a semicolon.
1418
+
1419
+
| Original | Revision |
1420
+
| -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
1421
+
| The office and salesrooms are on the ground floor, while the rest of the building is devoted to manufacturing. | The office and salesrooms are on the ground floor; the rest of the building is devoted to manufacturing. |
1422
+
1423
+
Its use as a virtual equivalent of _although_ is allowable in sentences where
1424
+
this leads to no ambiguity or absurdity.
1425
+
1426
+
While I admire his energy, I wish it were employed in a better cause.
1427
+
1428
+
This is entirely correct, as shown by the paraphrase,
1429
+
1430
+
I admire his energy; at the same time I wish it were employed in a better cause.
1431
+
1432
+
Compare:
1433
+
1434
+
| Original | Revision |
1435
+
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
1436
+
| While the temperature reaches 90 or 95 degrees in the daytime, the nights are often chilly. | Although the temperature reaches 90 or 95 degrees in the daytime, the nights are often chilly. |
1437
+
1438
+
The paraphrase,
1439
+
1440
+
The temperature reaches 90 or 95 degrees in the daytime; at the same time the
1441
+
nights are often chilly,
1442
+
1443
+
shows why the use of _while_ is incorrect.
1444
+
1445
+
In general, the writer will do well to use _while_ only with strict literalness,
1446
+
in the sense of _during the time that_.
1447
+
1448
+
**Whom.** Often incorrectly used for _who_ before _he said_ or similar
1449
+
expressions, when it is really the subject of a following verb.
1450
+
1451
+
| Original | Revision |
1452
+
| -------------------------------------------------- | ------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
1453
+
| His brother, whom he said would send him the money | His brother, who he said would send him the money |
1454
+
| The man whom he thought was his friend | The man who (that) he thought was his friend (whom he thought his friend) |
1455
+
1456
+
**Worth while.** Overworked as a term of vague approval and (with _not_) of
1457
+
disapproval. Strictly applicable only to actions: “Is it worth while to
1458
+
telegraph?”
1459
+
1460
+
| Original | Revision |
1461
+
| ------------------------------ | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
1462
+
| His books are not worth while. | His books are not worth reading (are not worth one's while to read; do not repay reading; are worthless). |
1463
+
1464
+
The use of _worth while_ before a noun (“a worth while story”) is indefensible.
1465
+
1466
+
**Would.** A conditional statement in the first person requires _should_, not
1467
+
_would_.
1468
+
1469
+
I should not have succeeded without his help.
1470
+
1471
+
The equivalent of _shall_ in indirect quotation after a verb in the past tense
1472
+
is _should_, not _would_.
1473
+
1474
+
He predicted that before long we should have a great surprise.
1475
+
1476
+
To express habitual or repeated action, the past tense, without _would_, is
1477
+
usually sufficient, and from its brevity, more emphatic.
1478
+
1479
+
| Original | Revision |
1480
+
| ------------------------------------------- | --------------------------------------- |
1481
+
| Once a year he would visit the old mansion. | Once a year he visited the old mansion. |