fix: reduce thread stacks to 4 MiB to prevent OOM
8 MiB × 2,500 threads touches too many pages over time — RSS grew
monotonically to 8 GiB (3 OOM kills in 6 hours). 4 MiB is 2x the
proven debug floor. also updates incident doc to reflect current state.
Co-Authored-By: Claude Opus 4.6 <noreply@anthropic.com>